The Thing
by Carriedreamer
Summary: There is only one man Buttercup avoids like the plague. Butch. And it's all because of that that...thing You know... that thing that... even the over eager matchmaking blue duo and the pink "wolf mama" and devoted red "wolf papa" whose pack just keeps on growing... don't know about. :: [COMPLETE] - Announcement for new project in final chapter A/N] Cover art courtesy of LilithKiss
1. Prologue

_Well another day- another plot bunny mass escape- I swear they're growing smarter on me- oh well._

 _Enjoy my lovelies._

* * *

 _Thing: some entity, object, or creature that is not or cannot be specifically designated or precisely described:_

 _-i-_

" _ **Hi Buttercup! It's me Bubbles your absolute FAVORITE sister calling to check up on you! You can't ignore my calls forever you know! I'm telling you I still think Ken is utterly PERFECT for you! …. But anyway! Your woeful lack of love life aside – I'm calling to talk about something VERY important! So call me back as soon as possible! Kay! Kisses!**_

 _ **-i-**_

 _ **Hi Buttercup! I know you must be like super busy on the trail of some erupting volcano but you totally never called me back so I figured my message got lost in the bad reception or something so… Call me back as soon as possible kay! Oh by the way: Boom thinks one of his buddies at the station might be totally your type! His name is Brad and he's a forensics expert: cool right! You can talk science together! Am I right! Course I am! Well! Talk to you soon! All the hugs in the world to you!**_

 _ **-i-**_

 _ **Buttercup I know you're like totally swamped doing your digging and everything but this is an EMERGENCY: Call me back right now! Also I gave Boom's friend your picture he's totally interested in meeting you! How awesome a sister am I Hee hee! Love you sis!**_

 _ **-i-**_

 _ **BUTTERCUP UTONIUM PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU!**_

 _-i- -i- -i-_

 _Prologue: In which Buttercup is forced away from her rocks to tend to a wolf pack._

 _ **-i-**_

Well. Wasn't this swell. Back in the good ole' USA… her rocks were going to be so lonely without her.

Stupid blonde.

She could have just ignored it. Probably should have. But the crazy blonde was more than capable of jumping on a plane and dragging her all the way back to the states- kicking and screaming with that unhinged giant smile on her face.

And the police officer husband would cover for her. And the lawyer brother in law would talk her out of any kidnapping charges.

Family. Gotta love it.

Speaking of…

It was eerily quiet. Extremely so. This quaint little house in the suburbs wasn't quiet in the slightest.

Well the blonde had begged. Thus… time to get this over with.

The doorbell was ominously loud. Again. Quiet plus this residence was not-.

-i-

AUNTIE!

AUTIE!

Doesn't Daddy look so pretty!

Dada pwetty!

-i-

She stands corrected.

The two wolf pups had charged at her- she now had two red haired pink eyed children using her a jungle gym.

Wolf Daddy who had opened the door looked bemused at his wild offspring.

Buttercup was more focused on the collage of glitter, plastic barrettes and little stickers that now made a home in that so called "pretty" hair.

-i-

Well doesn't Brick look so _pretty?_

Shut it.

Heh. Having fun on his day off?

Best believe it. He is the glitter king- bow before him.

-i-

He flashed her a wry look as she stepped cautiously into the "Wolf's Den" that was once the family's living room now a minefield of crepe paper, markers, crayons, and stickers- not to mention glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.

The game was playing on the television but judging from the state of his hair and clothes… she highly doubted her brother-in-law had seen much of it.

After all. Big Bad Brick of the Rowdyruff Boys could deny his little girls _nothing:_ If that meant having his "pretty hair" all dolled up for Auntie's visit. So be it.

The littlest Pup was swooped under his arm- while the eldest climbed atop her shoulders: high pitched giggling did little to nothing to ease the headache that had plagued her since leaving her peaceful jungle to return to this dratted thing called _civilization_.

-i-

Auntie. Auntie. Did you see lions?

Lions don't live in South America Rosie.

But lions live in jungles! That's what my teacher said! They're the king of the jungle!

-i-

Her brother in law frowned.

-i-

 _How much am I paying for that school again?_

-i-

The Wolf Daddy's mumble was ignored of course as Rosie- the eldest at five had found _the_ satchel.

Because… like hell if Buttercup wasn't the most kick ass aunt _ever!_ Bubbles who! Please- everyone knew that _she_ was the favorite here. These two little pups- and yeah she was biased as hell but who gave a fuck? Not her.

Nope. Her little pink nieces were the _cutest_ fucking things on the planet and she'd kick anyone's ass who dared say otherwise. It wasn't just the indulgent wolf daddy who was under their spell after all.

Nope.

First there was Rosie: Disturbingly similar to her father at five in being a mischievous scamp and trouble maker who knew how to bat her eyelashes and turn on the water works just in time to make Daddy forgive her anything– she was also a near perfect clone of Blossom, down to the oversized ribbon that she sported in her sleek auburn hair.

It was uncanny… and slightly creepy.

-i-

What did you get me! Auntie! Auntie! Did you bring me something! Huh! Huh!

-i-

Not to mention Brick spoiled her rotten.

-i-

Autie?

-i-

The newest addition to the wolf clan… well for _now_ at least was little Lily.

Her sister and the hubby _really_ needed to be more original for the next one. The "flower" motif was getting old.

Lily sported Brick's wild untamable locks: thick and no doubt Blossom lamented every morning when it came time to brush it. Everything else about this tiny pup was however- pure Mommy. Only just now learning to talk in full sentences- this two and a half year old was nonetheless the most articulate toddler she'd ever met.

… okay that didn't mean much- Buttercup didn't know many children but… never mind.

The two pink eyed wolf pups were her cute as hell little nieces and best believe Buttercup showed them off to anyone who would listen… or she'd make listen. Again… not the issue.

The satchel was opened- shrill squeals as two handmade dolls – again best aunt _ever_ – were presented and the two pups hurried over to their disaster area that had once a upon time equaled this home's living room.

The indulgent wolf daddy returned to his couch- the game was on but obviously he hadn't a clue what was going on- though at least the mystery of the glitter storm and stickers was solved: As any child was wont to do, their new toys had made whatever art project they were working on become instantly and completely abandoned.

Whoops.

… oh well not her fault she was a kick ass aunt.

-i-

How was her flight?

Long. The movie sucked

-i-

Crimson glare. Oh right. _Language._

-i-

The movie was unpleasant.

-i-

Slight nod.

-i-

Where's her sister?

Sleeping upstairs- she said to wake her when she got here though.

Brave man.

Shut the hell up.

Language.

… Shut the heck up.

Better.

-i-

He looked less than amused- but his pups grew bored of their new toys and instead zipped back over to them, little tails wagging and eyes shining.

-i-

Can we show Auntie, Daddy! Please! Please!

Show! How Autie!

-i-

Once again the so called former "bludgeoner" of the Rowdyruff Boys melted and gave a nod. Rosie squealed but quieted by the abrupt finger to Wolf Daddy's lips and the admonishing reminder of Mommy was sleeping.

The mini puff dove to the floor and took up one side of the glittered masterpiece while Lily stuggled with the other.

-i-

 **Good luck Mommy!**

 **-i-**

It was a collage apparently made of every single heart sticker on the planet- covered in what must have been _pounds_ of glitter- which explained not only Daddy's hair… but their strangely sparkling sofa.

Her sister was going to have a cow. Blossom was very protective of her beloved furniture. Even as madly in love as she had been for example- the Pink Puff had _still_ made her lover boy pay for the cleaning of her couch apparently before allowing said Red Romeo back into her bed.

The message while in crude writing befitting a kindergartner… Buttercup still had a feeling could nonetheless mostly be attributed to the ever helpful indulgent Wolf Daddy over there than her albeit _brilliant_ – how could she not be with her mother? – Little niece's writing skills.

Brick was a total sap and it cracked Buttercup up.

Speaking of Mommy though…

-i-

Buttercup? You're here already?

-i-

Thar she blows!

No… really- Buttercup wasn't being a bitch. Blossom was going to pop. It was crazy. She knew from the ultrasounds courtesy of the ever helpful social media that there was only _one_ kid in there but Jesus Christ she could barely walk at this point!

White Fang strolled by her mistress's side as the hubby jumped up from the sofa, hurried over and took his wife's arm guiding her over to the sofa.

-i-

 _Easy hon._

 _Dear. I'm pregnant not a china doll._

 _Blossom you heard the-._

 _Brick. Why is my sofa sparkling?_

-i-

Nice knowing you dude.

-i-

 _Is it? Oh well would look at that!_

 _You let the girls have those glitter pens didn't you…_

… _Err… no?_

 _Brick._

-i-

Run. Angry hormonal Powerpuff Girl whose beloved furniture is now a sparkly masterpiece.

Her sister's eyebrow rose. And her fingers ran down Brick's "pretty" hair.

-i-

 _I see my furniture wasn't their only canvas._

 _Oh… yeah… right… uh listen babe I looked at the packages- its all washable and-._

-i-

Little giggle. Oh hey guess Buttercup wasn't going to see a murder after all.

-i-

 _You big softie… you spoil our little girls too much you know._

-i-

Ew gooey eyes.

-i-

 _What can I say Cherry Blossom… I can never say no to a pair of big pink eyes._

 _Mmm… no I suppose my big puppy can't._

-i-

Ugh they were nauseating. Seriously _five_ years later and they _still_ acted like a bunch of lovesick teenagers!? Shouldn't they have outgrown those disgusting nicknames by now?!

Blegh! Her nieces mirrored her disgust, Rosie's tongue had gone out and Lily covered her eyes the second Wolf Mommy and Daddy began playing lip hockey. His giant paw pressed against her stomach

Ugh… that's right. Drag Buttercup from her jungle and make her be witness to PDA central. Fucking figures. Ugh. _Stupid. BLONDE._

-i-

Ahem.

-i-

The two nauseating redheads whirled around- and her sister flushed at the little wave sent to her. Good serves her right.

The former "Commander and Leader" cleared her own throat and allowed her husband to sit her on the couch.

-i-

Right. Sorry Buttercup… hormones.

Is that they call it now?

Shut it.

-i-

The girls had gotten over their revulsion and rushed to Mommy in matching pink lights. Blossom groaned and put her arms around them both as they unrolled their glitter bomb of a masterpiece over her tummy.

-i-

 _Mommy Mommy! See See! Look what I did!_

 _Did you baby? How pretty._

 _I help!_

 _You did! Oh how thoughtful… you two realy are Mommy's little helpers huh?_

 _Yeah! And- And I'll have a new baby sister soon right! Right!_

-i-

Brick moaned and his head went in his hands.

-i-

Please for the love of all things sacred and holy let it be a boy.

Lobster Mama giving him shi- _shindigs_ again?

-i-

That's right. Avoid evil hormonal Wolf mama's death stare at the mere thought of corrupting her precious ones' innocent ears…

-i-

It's terrifying. He's pretty sure Him will soon call on the forces of darkness to ensure Brick's wife gives birth to a _red_ eyed child this time around. If He hasn't already.

Brick really thinks that?

… He's caught the powder in Blossom's food now twice. Mama is too smug. This is concerning.

So… if the kid comes out with red eyes but sporting a tail and horns and is basically the Anti Christ they'll all know why?

Yeah…. Tails and horns would be kind of hard to explain to his or her teachers…

He's concerned about _that_ … and not the fact his wife could be harboring the Anti Christ?

He's a Rowdyruff Boy – he's surrounded by three hyperactive Powerpuff Girls all obsessed with his hair. Nothing frightens him anymore. Bring it on.

Brave man.

-i-

A small sigh and the sap immediately stood at attention- a grimace and he immediately put a hand out.

Her own went up- and she shook her head. The Red Rowdyruff visibly relaxed.

Shit… she hated when the Blonde was right.

Begging. Yelling. Pleading. All had resulted in Buttercup leaving her research team in the midst of a dig and hightailing it _all_ the way back to Townsville: Bubbles had apparently just had this _feeling_ in her gut and seeing as she and Boomer were going to be away this week: nonrefundable tickets to Paris-Bubbles' _dream_ vacation: could Buttercup please, _please_ stay with Blossom!

After all… remember what happened the _last_ time Brick had been left on his own…?

She had a point. Not that her brother-in-law wasn't an acceptable mate for her older sister. Devoted to her and their pups and… nauseatingly in love with said pink Powerpuff girl… Brick… was still… a man.

And men… for the most part… she was sure there were exceptions to this little rule… but as Buttercup had discovered over the years… men… had this _thing_ about pregnancy.

As in… part of them no matter how much research and how many books they could read: Brick had more or less decimated the bookstore's "expecting mother" section after all as soon as he'd received word his then fiancée was pregnant: But still her brother in law… seemed mystified by this magical mystery that was pregnancy and thus…

Well to be blunt the first and _last_ time Buttercup had been witness to the "great event" herself: Brick had been a fucking basket case.

It had been hard to tell who'd been screaming louder. The laboring woman screaming more or less every single foul word in the English language before she ran out of those and switched to cursing in Mandarin.

Or… the panicking young husband who had almost throttled the doctor for "daring" question his wife's request for the goddamn drugs.

-i-

 _WHEN MY WIFE YELLS FOR MORE DRUGS YOU GIVE THE POWERPUFF GIRL MORE FUCKING DRUGS YOU-YOU DAMN IT BOOMER, BUTCH GET OFF ME!_

 _-i-_

Little Rosie had come out screaming.

Blossom had had no voice left.

Brick had fainted.

Needless to say Buttercup had stayed in the jungle for little Lily's birth and Brick had been kept in the waiting room.

And now a third wolf pup was upon them. Sure Buttercup had been skeptical of the sheer _panic_ that had been her younger sister but… the blonde had been right.

No question.

Blossom was going to pop. And it was going to be _soon._

There was _no_ way that baby was going to wait another three weeks.

No wonder the Glitter King looked so tense.

Another grimace. Her hand went to her stomach.

Oh… Oh no. No. no. no. Just because Buttercup had agreed to come over here didn't mean-!

Another grimace.

-i-

Mommy?

Ma ma?

Brick. Dear could you get me a-.

-i-

Maybe she got up too fast.

Maybe she got up too slow.

Or maybe this was just Buttercup's fucking _luck!_

Her sister was white as a sheet. Brick was whiter than that aforementioned sheet.

And they all stared at the puddle that had formed at the pink Powerpuff's feet.

Oh… what the _fuck!?_

 _-i-_

BRICK!

Babe! Sit down! Or should you be standing up! Uh! Uh! SHIT!

BRICK! LANGUAGE!

Oh! Right- uh girls no saying that word Daddy just said!

-i-

The scream was harsh and oh dear God this wasn't happening!

-i-

Or the word that Mommy just said!

BRICK! BABY. COMING.

…What….?

Baby. Coming. Now. – Mommy in pain. Daddy bring mommy to hospital!

Babe…?

NOW!

-I-

…Oh… Oh what the hell…

Why the fuck hadn't Buttercup just… why hadn't she just stayed with her rocks…?

This… This couldn't be happening…

-i-

Girls be good for your aunt!

-i-

Wait… say what!? Uh no! How about Wolf Daddy stay with the pups and Auntie go with screaming Wolf Mommy!

Buttercup didn't agree to this!

Buttercup did NOT agree to this!

The pups clung to her arms and oh no. oooohhhhh no! Uh uh! That Rowdyruff wouldn't dare!

He wouldn't _dare!_

-I-

The door slammed shut.

-i-

The ass had dared.

…. Fuck.

The two little wolf pups both looked up at her with wide pink eyes.

And then started screaming.

… double fuck.

…. Was it too late to… go back to her rocks?

-i-i-i-

* * *

 _And thus does Buttercup's nightmare begin._

 _Poor thing. I do hope some... reinforcements may be at hand soon enough._

 _Thanks for reading my lovelies- and remember your reviews make lovely carrots for the plot bunnies... one of these days I'm just going to get a more reinforced hutch for the dratted things._

 _Until next time_

 _-Carrie_


	2. Part I

_Sorry for the delay for this: Act 3 in As Time Goes By took over my writing life completely and utterly - leaving me no time for anything else._

 _I do hope these plot bunnies will learn to behave themselves sooner or later..._

 _Enjoy my lovelies,_

* * *

 _Would Dr. Pyndi please report to maternity ward 6 please?_

-l-

Shit… was that the name of her doctor?

He should know that shouldn't he. That way too happy always smiling Indian woman who seemed to take his wife screaming insults and her impromptu laser vision and or ice blasts in stride.

Then again this was Townsville General.

…. Nothing fazed this city. Thus nothing fazed this hospital.

Even laboring Powerpuff Girls.

If only Brick could be so lucky…

-l-

" _Brick honey…"_

" _Yes my Cherry Blossom…?"_

"… _. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU WRETCHED ROWDYRUFF! THIS IS REVENGE FOR THE KISS ISN'T IT! THIS WAS YOUR EVIL PLAN ALL ALONG! YOU SEDUCED ME TO GET ME BACK FOR THE GODDAMN PANTS! "_

"… _Pants...? OOOH! Yeah! Huh I forgot all about that."_

" _OH MY GOD IT HURTS! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! AGAIN!"_

"… _You helped…"_

 _-l-_

Hospital maternity wards were officially war zones. After having been unceremoniously and violently thrown out of the room by a hysterical Powerpuff girl… who also happened to be his wife…and who sometimes loved him- Brick was battle weary already.

… And he had done this now _three_ times.

It was _not_ his fault he was so goddamn manly and that his beautiful wife was apparently half rabbit. It was _not_ his fault.

Three kids… five years… perfectly reasonable!

He was the world's greatest father. His little flower garden adored him- and best believe he was indeed the "Number one Dad" in Townsville – that mug with the little finger prints all over it that adorned his work desk was telling nothing but the truth!

Another nurse giggled as he passed.

And as much as Brick was a handsome son of a bitch-his wife despite her screaming hormonal protests at the moment after all had _no_ problem whatsoever joining him in the baby making process- nope not at all!

… But for all of Brick being the hottest number one dad in Townsville…

It was more than likely that giggles McGee over there was laughing due to the five pounds of glitter his… little flowers… had dumped on Daddy…mere hours before.

He found the handy sink the barely coherent nurse at the station had pointed to- he could hear her laughing down the hall- again… they were all just jealous because Blossom Jojo was married to Brick Jojo: hot, devoted and master of the bedroom arts if he did say so himself-and along with their adorable little girls and one hyperactive wolf dog lived the dream life and wanted for _nothing_.

And hell- glitter washed out pretty easily- not a big deal. Didn't really see the problem with it.

He had more important things on his mind… such as how to get access back to his wife's room without being zapped, frozen or cursed at in mandarin.

Again… not a _big_ deal nor would it be very hard- he had his pretty Cherry Blossom wrapped around his little finger after all- he'd just go to the gift shop and buy her the biggest most luxurious bouquet of flowers-.

Flowers…

 _FLOWERS!_

ROSIE! LILY!

BUTTERCUP!?

Oh God had he left his children with his… eccentric… sister… in… law…?

-l-

" _Autie what this?"_

" _Hmm? That's a rock hammer."_

" _Hamma?"_

" _Mhmm."_

" _What do?"_

" _You hit things with it."_

" _Oh."_

 _ **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH**_

" _ROSIE! WHO- WHO GAVE THE TWO YEAR OLD A HAMMER!? ROSIE PUT THAT DOWN! OH GOD NOT THE TV! BRIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!"_

-l-

The frog in his throat was choking. He felt his heart pound.

Before he grabbed his phone. And made the call.

He had to rescue his house.

…. Or his cherry Blossom would never consent to getting into bed with him again…

 _Part I: In which Reinforcements are called in._

-l-

Butch was no smarty pants lawyer.

But he knew how to make a good break. The applause that followed was of course to be expected. Because he was the most kick ass son of a bitch in this whole damn city.

His opponent only watched sadly as five balls went in their respective pockets and the others were in perfect position to finish this round. He clicked his tongue pitifully.

-l-

Let's see… 9- left hand pocket, 10 right and -.

-l-

The wad of bills was pushed in his hand.

Awww. admitting defeat so soon? Whatever. Fifty bucks- decent payout.

After all. Butch was a master of pool. No one would or could defeat him.

… Okay. _One p_ erson had been able to come close. And he'd let them win.

Because… he was that nice a guy.

But that person wasn't worth remembering after all- being long gone and all and besides-look at that delectable piece at the bar- biting her lip like that – heh… well he couldn't be an asshole and ignore such a pretty piece now could he.

And then of course his phone rang.

-l-

Well if it isn't Butch's favorite cock block of a stick in the mud – _domesticated_ – big brother.

Uh huh. Already? Damn that didn't take long.

He's not serious.

NO!

Why the hell should he! Ain't Butch's problem Brick was an idiot and spirited the pregnant Puff away without thinking of the pink brats.

… Hey just because he fucking loved those little nieces of his didn't mean they weren't spoiled brats- yes they were- There was no reason for a five year old to get bored opening gifts on Christmas- that pile had almost hit the ceiling- He wasn't exaggerating by much and Brick knows it.

Yeah well of _course_ Uncle Butch was the _favorite_ – Uncle Boomer was a stick in the mud just like Daddy. Hey! No one could throw little Ruff Puffs in training higher than Uncle Butch! Speaking of- boy or girl? – Oh not born yet. … Yikes that the puff in the background there? … Wouldn't it be better for Butch to come to the hospital and make sure Brick wasn't castrated?

Pregnant women were capable of many things- she would regret it yes but not at that moment.

Yeah well "Uncle Butch" was no damn babysitter!

….

…..

What?

….She's… back in the states...?

… huh? Yeah… yeah he's still here.

….. Yeah. Yeah sure. Yeah Brick better believe he owes him.

…. Good luck with the baby popping…

Yes Butch is aware he is an asshole.

-l-

" _FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"_

" _Is that all you can say dumb ass?"_

" _Oh shut the fuck up and kiss me woman!"_

-l-

The pretty piece looked pissed when he grabbed his leather jacket.

But whatever…

The pink brats needed their favorite uncle Butch to save them from….

Auntie… and her… evil geology…tools…

Yeah… those fucking evil things.

-l-

" _Going back?"_

" _Lava cooled."_

" _Do you have to?"_

" _This was a one-time thing- you know that….and I'll be back at Christmas."_

"… _I can call ya right?"_

" _If you don't I'll castrate you."_

"… _One more time for the road?"_

" _There a reason your pants still on stud?"_

-l-

Bike helmets were the worst. Helmet hair wasn't sexy.

-l-

" _Seriously?"_

" _It's the law."_

" _Since when does a Rowdyruff Boy care about the law?"_

" _When he's got a traitor for both brothers- seriously- a lawyer AND a cop! The hell man!"_

" _Yeah you really lucked out huh?"_

" _Ah shut up and put the helmet on woman. That sister of yours is a bitch when it comes to being on time."_

" _True. Be glad you didn't know her well in high school."_

" _I knew her plenty."_

" _Tch. How?"_

" _I shared a room with Brick."_

"… _Touché. Let's go."_

-l-

The Pink brats were likely traumatized already.

-l-

" _You keep throwing her kid and my sister is gonna throw you."_

" _Aw c'mon Butterfly! She loves it! Don't you Rosie Posie?"_

"… _I don't know what's lamer. What you just called our niece or this stupid nickname you persist in calling me despite how many times I've threatened you terrible harm."_

" _Yet never followed through."_

" _Haven't had the chance- too many mandated reporters. Lawyer. Cop. Teacher. Aspiring author."_

" _What's your sister's book about anyway?"_

" _How to keep horny Rowdyruff Boys from constantly impregnating you."_

"… _But he did?"_

" _Her favorite genre is fantasy."_

"… _Oh. Sure to be a best seller-Aww- well if you insist brat- now Upsy Daisy Rosie Posie!"_

" _Lame ass."_

" _Language Butterfly."_

-l-

The house was probably already destroyed.

-l-

" _You broke my couch…"_

" _You broke my bed."_

"… _Touche."_

-l-

They were probably starving.

-l-

" _The fuck… this ain't even food!"_

" _What no sense of adventure Stud?"_

" _Butterfly… I'm the best adventure you'll ever have- but even I put my foot down at my food still crawling!"_

" _It's hardly crawling- now c'mon- just stab em like this- lots of protein in these things- saved my ass during a dig a couple years ago- fell down a mountain- not the best day."_

" _Holy shit."_

" _Yep."_

"… _These really edible?"_

" _Taste like chicken actually- just ignore the feelers- they get stuck in your teeth like this- mmm?"_

" _Yeah… stuck in our teeth… let's make this a to-go Butterfly."_

"… _Tch. Kay."_

-l-

Or they were being terrified by scary stories.

-l-

" _Hold up… a real fucking leopard!?"_

" _Jaguar actually- see. Here's a claw from the fucker- and right here- where it nailed me. Good thing for Chemical X skin and shit but jeez it was a nasty shit head."_

"… _Was this before or after the rock slide?"_

" _Meh… can't really remember- might have been after we climbed up to Machu Piccu."_

" _You went to-!?"_

" _Course I did- I was in the neighborhood. Oooh see this- this is from a bot fly! Ever hear of those nasty fuckers- oh my God when Bubbles ever said she wanted to visit me- and then heard about THAT thing- oh my God it was priceless."_

" _And this was… one research trip?"_

" _Detour actually- that trip was the one with the piranha encounter- you know they actually ain't dangerous unless you're dumb enough to bleed in the water. Movies lie. Now anacondas- those fuckers-!"_

" _Why the fuck… would you ever want to come back here?"_

"… _My family's here."_

" _Yeah but… why would you ever leave an adventure like THAT for… Townsville!?"_

"… _I don't know stud you tell me."_

-l-

She had likely raided the kitchen looking for a nonexistent liquor cabinet.

-l-

" _So… what's with the tattoo?"_

" _Taking Wolf Daddy lessons?"_

" _No. I have dignity and manhood left. Seriously I know what this one is- and this one too- but what's this mean?"_

" _Which one?"_

" _The swirl."_

"… _.. I was drunk. I thought it looked cool."_

" _Oh. Cause I thought it kind of looked like a-."_

" _It's a sun. It's supposed to be a sun."_

" _Snail."_

" _Why the fuck would I get a snail tattoo?"_

" _I don't know Butterfly… you tell me."_

-l-

The city would be doomed if God forbid there was a threat.

-l-

" _Its good to be back."_

" _Thought you hated Townsville."_

" _I hate civilization… how false and dirty it can be. The jungle's pure. Not to sound like a sap."_

" _Yet its still good to be back?"_

"… _. Townsville will… No matter what I guess always be home."_

" _Cause your sisters are here?"_

"… _. Yeah. Let's go with that."_

-l-

His nieces needed him.

-I-

" _Would you ever consider a museum appointment?"_

"… _You mean working as a glorified record keeper."_

" _I'm just saying Townsville Natural History museum was looking-."_

" _I belong in the jungle."_

" _I know… just… Rosie and lil' Lily miss ya is all. Them and their mum and Bubs and-."_

" _And what Stud?"_

" _And…I… kind of do…."_

-l-

His brother was obviously worried sick about his brats thus Butch had to get there.

-l-

" _I think I got a problem."_

" _That right? How so?"_

" _I'm turning into you."_

"… _Thanks?"_

" _It was just sex."_

" _It's always just sex."_

" _Sex don't mean shit."_

" _Yep."_

" _You're mocking me."_

" _Whatever gave you that idea little brother?"_

" _Fuck off."_

" _My wife is otherwise occupied."_

"… _You got her pregnant again!?"_

"… _She helped."_

" _Too much info. Didn't need to hear that. Congrats man. Here's hoping it's a red eyed boy this time."_

" _Yeah Rosie deserves a little brother."_

" _And Lobster Mama will get off your ass."_

" _That too."_

"… _Sex doesn't mean anything."_

"… _Exclusive sex- being more or less a monk until the holiday season and then we don't see you for the six week sabbatical before another volcano beckons – yep sex don't mean shit."_

"… _I love her don't I?"_

" _Duh."_

" _Fuck off."_

" _Again. Occupied."_

" _No sex for nine months eh?"_

"… _Seven."_

"… _. Jesus Christ Brick."_

" _I am the world's greatest husband and father don't hate."_

" _You used to be the world's biggest playboy in college."_

" _Yeah exactly- playboy- never more than once."_

"… _Never?"_

" _Nope. One night stands were my thing until I found Blossom again. Than nope. All mine I wasn't taking any more chances."_

" _That why you proposed to her so damn fast."_

" _How is a year fast?"_

" _Well I mean…"_

" _I love her. I knew she was the one. Why waste my time that could be spent doing more important things."_

" _Like… being a Dad."_

" _Among other things."_

"… _So what do I do?"_

" _Well… that depends- She'll be back for Christmas again."_

" _What's that got to do with it?"_

" _Simple Bro."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Give her a reason to stay."_

-l-

Yeah real helpful. Domestic sap. He wasn't even a Rowdyruff Boy anymore! Nope! Once the bad boy Rowdyruff leader had been reduced some caricature of himself- only interested in stupid shit like… mortgages, and bringing home the bacon for his pretty ever pregnant wife and… and… school plays and report cards and _glitter_ \- lots of fucking glitter!

He honestly couldn't remember a holiday in the last three or so years his idiot of a brother _hadn't_ opened the door with faintly sparkling hair.

Please! Like Butch would ever let those little brats put glitter in _his_ hair! Nope. He had self-respect. He had _dignity!_

He was a _man!_

The irritatingly domestic looking house his pathetic big brother lived in came into view. A tricycle was on its side in the empty driveway. Apparently Brick had actually remembered to _drive_ this time versus flying his laboring puff to the hospital.

It was not recommended to fly a newborn baby in the air. Thus last time this momentous event had the idiot had been left with a screaming newborn _and_ a screaming wife left on the hospital steps while the idiot had had to fly _all_ the way home and then drive _all_ the way back.

Again… the fact the guy had managed to woo his wife back into bed was a miracle.

… The fact he had once again impregnated her practically upon contact…

…Butch had a distinct feeling Lobster Mama had a hand in this…

He wanted _red_ eyed grandsons.

He had been given two _pink_ eyed granddaughters.

… For the love of God and for his poor sister-in-law's sake… that kid better come out bellowing with bright red eyes and proudly male.

Seriously… Butch couldn't be the _only_ one who had noticed the odd powder in Blossom's mashed potatoes last Thanksgiving!

Ugh… whatever.

Better get this over with- that shrieking didn't sound good. Nor did the utter panic that seemed to be… her voice.

Whatever… he was a grown ass man.

Thirty two fucking years old! He could do this!

He could do this!

-l-

" _There a reason you're insisting on blindfolding me? You planning on robbing me and leaving me in a ditch somewhere?"_

" _Tch. As if I'd do something so predictable. You know me better than that Butterfly."_

" _I guess. It has been three years since I learned to endure your presence again."_

" _mmm. True that. Told you that quarter date would be worth it."_

" _You cheated and slowed my watch down."_

" _Hey- I saw an opportunity and took it. Seriously who wears watches anymore?"_

" _They're more reliable than cell phones- again. Mountains don't make for good reception."_

" _Mmm. Yeah I know."_

" _Are you still stewing over that dropped call- I warned you I was going up a goddamn caldera."_

" _Could have called me back when you got down from the stupid volcano."_

" _Aww is Stud jealous of big bad volcanoes."_

" _Maybe."_

" _Tch. Again blindfolds and Green Powerpuffs are not good combinations- drop the act and tell me where we're going before I castrate you."_

" _Patience pretty Butterfly."_

" _Don't call me pretty- what the fuck- Butch the fuck you doing!?"_

" _Surprise-! Wait…You don't like it?"_

"… _. This ain't like you. I'm slightly creeped out."_

"… _All girls like this shit though!?"_

" _Well I ain't all girls! Seriously- when's the last time I even drank champagne that wasn't due to celebrating another wolf pup!? Or the blondies getting hitched last year! Seriously three year engagement the fuck man."_

" _Yeah… Boomer's a patient… guy. You really don't like it?"_

"… _Well… I mean it ain't… bad… it's… nice… just… not like you…"_

" _Well… I mean… it's a pretty… big day you know?"_

"… _how so? Again stop it you're freaking me out. Butch… Butch the fuck are you- Get the fuck up! Don't you dare! Don't you dare! Oh… Oh God no… I'm… I'm out of here!"_

" _W-Wait! Buttercup! Wait! Just- Just listen Butterfly!"_

" _You can't be fucking serious! You can't!"_

" _Why not!?"_

" _C-Cause… Cause… you… Cause you ain't!"_

" _Yes I am! Butterfly I lo-."_

" _Don't you dare!"_

" _What?"_

" _You don't!"_

" _Yes I do!"_

" _You don't!"_

" _I DO!"_

" _YOU DON'T! Damn it… Damn it I'm… I'm out of here! I… I can't- I just… fuck! Fuck! Fuck… Just… Just…"_

"… _Will you at least look at it?"_

"… _You didn't… fuck my life Butch why…?!"_

" _But see- its reinforced titanium so it won't dent when a rock slide falls on it- and there's a way to tighten it too so it won't fall off when you're on a mountain and… it's even got a-!"_

" _You… Y-You… Y-you're such an idiot… you stupid… Rowdyruff Boy…"_

" _Yeah… but I'm your idiot… if you want me."_

-l-

There was a stampede to the door. High pitched squeals.

Here we go…

The door opened.

-l-

"Heya Butterfly."

-l-

The door closed.

Well…. Fuck.

That went well.

* * *

 _Oh dear oh dear- how will our Greens fare... and will Brick and Blossom EVER get their red eyed son at long last?_

 _Who knows- the plot bunnies continually evade my net. Who knows if they'll ever be rounded up._

 _Until next time my lovelies,_

 _\- Carrie_


	3. Part II

_And thus we continue: Funny thing about these experiments of mine- they go much much faster than I anticipated._

 _But as a brief announcement to celebrate a certain milestone for As Time Goes By: I am in the midst of planning a special thank you for all my wonderful readers- Details to follow soon- as soon as I iron out the details. ;)_

 _But for now, onto the next part of our green saga._

 _Enjoy:_

* * *

 _Would Dr. Pyndi PLEASE report to Maternity Ward 6._

-l-

That… didn't sound good.

 _What_ was taking this woman so long!?

… Not his wife. The stupid doctor.

No his wife was currently sitting up in bed- and allowing the nurse to wipe her forehead- she looked up weakly and her eyes widened.

-l-

" _Brick! Honey! Oh I'm so sorry!"_

" _Hey – hey it's no big deal Cherry Blossom."_

-l-

She looked so sad- those pretty pink lips pouted and her eyes glistening with tears which only increased when he set the bouquet down on her little table.

-l-

" _I don't deserve you."_

" _Yeah you do."_

" _I yelled at you."_

" _Yes."_

" _I tried to freeze you."_

" _Well it's kind of hot in here anyway."_

" _I love you."_

" _I love you too Cherry Blossom- what's the status?"_

" _Pain."_

" _Ah. Wanna hold my hand?"_

"… _Yes."_

-l-

Another whimper. He kissed her brow and took the cloth from the nurse and his Cherry Blossom's fingers laced with his.

Though… he had to admit.

This was… taking a bit. Rosie… well Rosie had been first so obviously that was going to be hell. And unlike what _some_ people claimed- Brick had not _fainted_ – he had…. Been very tired and plopped down very quickly on the floor for a moment or two- Blossom had been in labor for almost…nine hours. He had not been able to get his morning coffee before his beautiful newly-wed bride had kicked him out of bed screaming baby Ruff was here!

Yeah… the doctors had told them to be expecting a little boy in the cradle when his little Rosie had come screaming into the world.

Lobster Mama hadn't been happy…

-l-

" _YOU FOOLISH MORTAL! YOU PROMISED ME A GRANDSON! A GRANDSON! WHY YOU-! NO ONE TRICKS THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! I SHALL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!"_

"… _You are hardly the Master of all evil you foolish creature now stop making such a loud fuss you are frightening our first grandchild- though she is not technically our grandchild as that would have involved our sons being our biological sons and not our honorary children - ah yes little creature- I am Grandpa Mojo- your honorary grandfather and you are my first honorary grandchild and- why do you look at me so strangely- Brick eldest son why is your daughter- my granddaughter by right but not blood staring at me as if I am-."_

" _She's probably trying to figure out why she has been cursed with such a fool for a grandfather- now give Grandma a turn."_

" _It is hardly your turn. I have only held her for a few moments- you must thus wait your turn as I Mojo Jojo bond with my honorary granddaughter for the first time- Brick why does she keep staring at me like this!?"_

" _Hand her over Mojo!"_

" _No, you will wait your turn!"_

" _Give me my granddaughter you senile monkey!"_

" _I am an ape! Wait your turn! Crab legs!"_

" _CRAB-! WHY YOU!"_

"… _Uh… Mom… Dad… you might want to give her to me… I think she's going to-."_

" _AGGGGGGGGGH!"_

"… _Too late."_

-l-

Thankfully evil villain capes were machine washable.

Not so much designer clothing but Mama had… become fixated on Rosie to the point it had taken a few hours to reclaim her. Not to mention the hundreds of designer baby outfits He managed to round up for Brick's eldest.

The next grandchild had been greeted with relatively the same fanfare- only this time Mojo Papa had been equipped with a poncho – though once again the doctors of Townsville General were left to duck and cover from the summoning of evil spirits and evil red fog that comprised of Lobster Mama's temper tantrum…

Another pink eyed little girl. Beautiful. Sheer perfection as was her birthright.

As soon as He had calmed down Lily had put grandma under the same spell as Rosie…

… But again…

That had been a pretty fast… day. Brick had been eating his breakfast. Blossom had been eating as well.

Husband lesson number 9: Never question what your pregnant wife has for breakfast. Even if its pickles covered in chocolate sauce and marshmallows.

Such questions will result in your kitchen wall needing dry walling from hormonal laser strikes.

Rosie had been playing finger paints with her maple syrup- rebuffing her mother's attempts at feeding her the actual pancake in between bites of her pickle sundae.

Blossom's eyes had gone wide. Brick had shot up from his chair.

A mere four hours later they were welcoming the newest flower in their garden.

Thus… _why_ was this taking so long!?

-l-

" _I felt the contractions…"_

" _I know."_

" _My water broke."_

" _I saw."_

" _But I'm not dilated yet. This is odd."_

" _Its fine babe- every baby's different."_

" _Yes well- OH DEAR GOD!"_

-l-

Well… good thing Brick was ambidextrous. The nurse openly flinched at the _crack_ that ensued from his wife's super powered grip latching onto his hand.

-l-

" _YOU! YOU! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"_

" _Again… I must protest my innocence here- if I recall correctly you had no problem with it at the time."_

" _SHUT UP YOU WRETCHED ROWDYRUFF BOY!"_

"… _Yes my love."_

-l-

Another squeeze. Another _crack._ There goes that index finger.

This should be painful. It probably would be once he regained his blood circulation in said hand.

-l-

" _Oh God! Brick I'm sorry! I don't think you're a wretched Rowdyruff Boy at all - I love you! I love you so much I just-! WHY!"_

" _C'mon babe- you can do this. Okay seriously- can we get some more of the goddamn drugs or whatever!? What is taking so long!?"_

" _EXCUSE ME!?"_

" _N-Not you honey! Never you! Take all the time you need- OW! OW! OW!"_

" _Oh YOU'RE IN PAIN! YOU'RE IN PAIN!? TRY SQUEEZING A HUMAN OUT OF YOU AND THEN YOU CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT PAIN MISTER!"_

" _I-I know that Cherry Blossom- Just- For the love of- WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STANDING THERE GET THE POWERPUFF GIRL SOME DAMN DRUGS!"_

-l-

The nurse scurried out.

Probably to go hide.

-l-

"… _Sorry."_

" _It's okay babe."_

" _I shouldn't act like this. You know I don't act like this."_

" _Babe… you're in labor."_

" _I'm aware of that moron…. Sorry… I love you."_

" _I love you too."_

" _You're not a moron."_

" _Sometimes I am."_

" _Well yes but I shouldn't call you that anyway."_

" _Make it up to me later."_

"… _You're not touching me ever again."_

" _That's what you said last time my love."_

"… _. It is isn't it?"_

" _Yep."_

" _This is still your fault."_

" _Your participation was voluntary."_

"… _You put the damn hat on."_

" _I thought you hated my hat."_

"… _. Not all the time."_

" _Aww… never can have too much of a good thing eh babe?"_

"… _Bastard."_

" _Again, a biological impossibility. When will you come up with a new insult?"_

"… _Jack ass."_

" _Much better."_

-l-

For all of Brick's being an apparent jack ass however he was still apparently an acceptable kisser and his faintly sparkling hair still- shit was like glue- was apparently an aphrodisiac for hormonal pregnant Powerpuff girls- as he was such a good father and she loved him so, so much, and she was so happy they were having a third child and did she mention how much she loved him because she truly did.

Of course his wife was his world and he loved her just as much and he couldn't wait to see their newest addition to the family and-.

His phone rang.

Who was calling him at a time like this?

She frowned and released him. Looking slightly irritated at the apparent cock block that was his phone.

-l-

" _Hello?"_

" _YOU FUCKING ROWDYRUFF BOY! YOU-YOU-! MY SISTER BETTER BE READY TO LIVE A CELIBATE LIFE FROM NOW ON BECAUSE I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU- YOU MOTHER FUCKING FIREBREATHING ASSHOLE! HOW DARE YOU-! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CALL HIM! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF DOG SHIT! WHY I OUGHTA-!"_

-l-

He hastily ended the call.

… That look boded ill for him.

-l-

" _Your sister uh-."_

"… _You left our daughters with my sister."_

"… _Babe there wasn't much time to-."_

"… _YOU. LEFT. OUR. CHILDREN. WITH. BUTTERCUP. UTONIUM!"_

"… _She's their aunt! And… Don't worry I called in reinforcements she won't be there on her own! And… I'm sure she learned her lesson from the… TV… incident."_

-l-

Angry hormonal eyes began to abate. Phew.

-l-

" _Ah… I knew I could count on you honey- who did you call? Jerry and Tina?"_

"… _Uh… no… they're um… they're visiting Jerry's mom and dad remember?"_

" _Oh of course, - hmm I should call her later that reminds me. So….wait… Bubbles and Boomer aren't due back until… Brick… who did you call?"_

-l-

 _Part II: In Which Buttercup laments to mac and cheese_

Oh Dear God.

No.

No see life didn't hate her that much.

It didn't!

-l-

Auntie who was that?

No one. Go back to playing with your glitter storm.

Kay. Why did you yell at Daddy?

Because your daddy is moron.

Oh. You swore.

Aunties are allowed to do that.

Oh. Can I swear?

N-…. _Sure._ Swear all you want kiddo. Be sure to use all the bad words you've ever heard daddy say right in front of mommy too.

Like the F' word?

… Sure.

He says it a lot when he's with mommy.

… Oh?

Yeah when the door's closed and they put the ocean sound thingie on and he says it over and over again- and mommy says it too.

O-Oh…. How… nice. Rosie why don't you-.

Yeah and sometimes Daddy's wearing his hat and mommy's wearing this big red bow and they're talking about Daddy being a bad guy and mommy's a good girl-.

-l-

OH DEAR GOD! NOT HEARING THIS!

She put a hand over Rosie's mouth.

-l-

Rosie honey. Never. Tell. Auntie. That story. _Again._

Kay.

Good girl. Go play.

-l-

That image was going to haunt her nightmares for weeks.

But now she had blackmail on her sister for the rest of her life. Hehe. Thank you blunt five year old.

Not to mention her asshole of a brother-in-law was going to regret ever so much as taking that first breath. She was fond of her brother in law. Truly she was.

He made her sister happier than she had ever been. Her sister wanted for nothing. Their PDA displays were truly nauseating at holiday get together's and the sap loved his kids way too much.

Seriously… _Santa_ needed to calm down a little next year. That had been _ridiculous_ and-.

… Fuck her life don't think of Christmas.

No. Bad Buttercup.

 _Bad._

Very bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Why was there knocking still?

Go away!

-l-

Autie. Ucle Butch here!

No that's a delivery man.

Oh. Hungwy!

-l-

Right… she had to feed the pink pups didn't she?

… What did wolf pups eat?

A pitter patter of paws and she was face to face with the golden eyes of White Fang. Who looked thoroughly unimpressed. As if the damn mutt was judging Buttercup. Stupid… dog.

You go away too!

After the judging canine stare the mutt sauntered over by Lily- paused- gave _another_ look at Buttercuo- and the mini puff in training floated off the windowsill she had… apparently climbed on and turned White Fang into her horsey.

Another judging look.

… Damn dog.

The kid had super powers! A fall wouldn't kill her!

-l-

Autie! Hungwy!

-l-

… Though starving would.

Uh…

What did wolf pups… eat?

STOP. KNOCKING.

-l-

Auntie. That is Uncle Butch! YAY!

No. That's the milk man.

But… it looks like Uncle Butch? He even has the metal thingy in his face.

Nope that's the milk man.

… But we don't have a milk man. What's a milk man?

A man made of milk. Okay speaking of- who wants-!

-l-

… Uh… children food.

Uh… what did children like…?

MAC AND CHEESE!

There we go! Can't go wrong with the cheesy treat!

-l-

Mac and cheese girls! Who wants some mac and cheese- auntie style!

-l-

The Girls both gasped and jumped in the air.

Tch. Kids were a cinch. What was Blossom always going on about?

-l-

I want ABC's!

Pwuppies!

-l-

Uh…

-l-

ABC'S!

PWUPPIES!

-l-

Crap…

-l-

MY TURN TO PICK!

NO MINE!

MINE!

MINE!

MIIIIINE!

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-l-

Oh God… that window shaking was ominous.

-l-

Rosie! Lily! How's about we… uh… um-!

How's about we just combine them kiddies?

-l-

Dear God no…

-l-

UNCLE BUTCH!

UCLE BUTCH!

-l-

No… why… why… WHY!

-l-

Jesus Christ you two are getting big! How's my favorite little pink brats doing huh?

So it was you outside!

Course it was Rosie Posie.

Auntie said it was the milk man.

Aw did she? Yeah I bumped into him. Now Up we go!

YAY! HIGHER! HIGHER!

My turn! My turn!

Course it is Lil' Lily- up and at em'!

AGAIN! AGAIN!

-l-

Fuck. Fuck her life. Fuck life.

-l-

See Auntie! It was Uncle Butch I told you!

… Imagine that. Yeah... you told me. How'd Uncle Butch get in?

-l-

He flashed her that fucking infuriating smirk.

-l-

Wolf Daddy keeps a spare key under one of the shingles on the roof.

-l-

… Of… course he did.

Fucking… super powers.

-l-

Auntie's making us mac and cheese!

Is she? Well you kids are some brave little brats then- auntie can't cook for shit. Can ya Butterfly?

-l-

She folded her arms.

Arrogant… fucking… shithead.

-l-

 _Auntie_ isthe most kick ass cook in the world. _Butch._

Is she? Well that's a new development. How _domestic_ of you Butterfly.

Don't. Call. Me. That.

Hear that brats- we got ourselves a gourmet chef in our midst. Go on Butterfly- wow me.

As soon as you leave I will.

No can do- Wolf Daddy sent me.

I figured. I can handle this.

Sure about that?

I can handle my own nieces asshole!

-l-

He set the giggling mini puffs down and she took a step back by instinct.

He was _way_ too close!

And… fuck… was that evergreen… fuck…. He wore the same cologne and-…

NO! Bad! Bad! Bad Buttercup. Bad. Bad. Bad.

She took another step and hit the wall. Blossom would kill her if she put a hole in her house.

But if she blamed eyebrow stud-…. The green asshole she meant- over here Buttercup could be halfway back to Brazil before Wolf Mommy figured it out.

And she'd be busy with the newest pup anyway so…

-l-

You think jaguars, piranhas, anacondas and rock slides are bad Butterfly… you haven't seen _nothing_ yet.

I can handle… two… little… girls.

-l-

She jumped at the sound of a sneeze, crash. And a very… cold chill hit the air.

Lily was peeking over the side of… what once had been… the left side of the coffee table.

… now covered in a layer of ice. She was wiping her nose.

-l-

Scuse me.

-l-

Lily had ice powers.

Right…. She'd… forgotten about that… little… detail but- it wasn't _that_ bad! She could handle!

-l-

Another little sneeze- and White Fang started barking uncontrollably. What was- FUCK!

A handy glass of ice water was on the non-frozen side of the coffee table and she hastily dumped it over the potted fern by the side of the wall.

The little fire went out at least.

Though Rosie looked genuinely sheepish.

-l-

Sorry Auntie- I have a little cold.

-l-

… And Rosie was Brick's daughter through and through.

Including that… dangerous fire breathing ability… right… there was a _reason_ Rosie had stayed home from school yesterday… wasn't there?

The son of a bitch was smirking away.

-l-

Fine. Stay. Entertain the pups. I'm going to go make mac and cheese.

You do that Butterfly.

Stop. Calling. Me-!

-l-

The girls giggled.

-l-

Auntie Butterfly!

Autie Buttfwy!

-l-

… She was going to kill him.

Kill him. Castrate him.

And she was going to kill her brother in law. Who just _had_ to get her sister pregnant again!

She was going to kill her stupid sister! Not the pregnant one- it hadn't been her fault and Buttercup liked babies for the most part.

No the giggling… stupid _blonde!_ And her… stupid husband that Buttercup was sure had something to do with this too! She didn't know what! But… He was a Rowdyruff too so… so he was gonna have to be killed by association!

KILL THEM ALL!

-l-

" _You look nice."_

" _Shut the fuck up I'm only doing this for my sister."_

" _Remind me to thank Bubbles."_

" _Shut. Up. Before I castrate you! Speaking of- where the fuck are the others?!"_

" _Bubbles and Boomer are stuck in traffic. Brick and Blossom cancelled."_

" _WHAT!?"_

" _Relax sweetie. We're heading over to their place later- but… something more pressing apparently came up."_

"… _They're having sex aren't they…"_

" _Judging from how inpatient my brother sounded on the phone… yeah."_

" _I left her an HOUR ago!"_

" _Oh yeah- my brother says to thank you for him."_

"… _Why?"_

" _The stubborn girl finally admitted she loves the guy. Apparently your doing?"_

"… _. Well fuck sis I didn't mean now. Well... I guess it's about time."_

" _Yep."_

" _So… we'll be sitting at that wedding six months give or take?"_

" _If not six hours. Blossom lives pretty close to city hall."_

" _Ugh. They nauseate me already."_

" _Try living with it for the last four months."_

" _I'd prefer not to- I like sleeping a good night's sleep."_

" _I can help you with that. Anytime, anyplace."_

" _Um. No. Are you seriously hitting on me you fucking Rowdyruff!"_

" _Course not- just making idle conversation."_

" _You're an ass."_

" _Now you're getting it."_

" _I'm out of here."_

" _Bubbles can be quite loud. You sure you want a bubbly temper tantrum?"_

" _You are aware that Boomer and Bubbles aren't really stuck in traffic."_

" _Yep."_

" _And Brick isn't going to allow my sister to leave that bed- clothed at least- until tomorrow morning."_

" _Yep. I said later didn't I?"_

"… _I'm gonna fucking kill them. This is a set up."_

" _Sure is. Pass the breadsticks."_

" _Son of a-… gimme the marinara."_

-l-

The cabinet was – non shocker here- carefully organized. An entire line of boxes of mac and cheese took up the bottom of one cabinet-jeez… apparently these girls liked their cheesy pasta.

Instructions looked simple enough. Boil a pot of water. Cook the shit for eight minutes. Stir occasionally. Add the milk and voila- instant cheesy delight!

Piece of cake!

Buttercup… could too cook!

She didn't see ABC's.

She didn't "puppies" or anything remotely similar to puppies.. but…

…. Oh… for the love of-!?

The butterfly's flew happily in a blue background of flowers next to river made of melted cheese- ew- advertising for children was revolting.

There had to be-! Oh Thank God. Okay… there were the two in question! They weren't puppies as much as paw prints but the kid was two. She was an articulate two year old.

But she was still fucking two.

And the ABC box was half empty anyway- apparently this wasn't a new battle. Her poor sister.

She shoved the "butterfly" mac and cheese to the very back of the cabinet and shoved a box of spaghetti over it for good measure. Evil thing.

Evil… fucking…

Thing.

-l-

" _This was the lamest quarter date I've ever been on."_

" _You had a blast and it was the only quarter date you've ever been on."_

" _It was tolerable- and you know this watch of mine has been on the six for an awfully long time…"_

" _Huh. Imagine that."_

" _Did you fuck with my watch?"_

" _Did you notice?"_

"… _. Touche. Seriously though- boardwalks? What are we kids?"_

" _Says the girl who was very happily chowing down on cotton candy and snarled at a kid for looking at it funny."_

" _Hey! You can't get spun sugar like that in South America okay! Nothing beats a boardwalk's cotton candy! Nothing!"_

" _Whatever you say."_

"… _This wasn't so bad."_

" _Yeah I know."_

" _Must you be so arrogant?"_

" _In the blood."_

" _Tch. True. Good luck Blossom."_

" _She seems to reign Brick in just fine."_

" _You sound okay with this."_

" _Okay with what? Oh… fuck that shit woman- it was years ago- I stopped caring about good vs evil shit back in high school. Brick wanted to marry a Powerpuff- let him. Long as she makes my bro happy what do I care?"_

" _I dunno man… I guess it's kind of weird still."_

" _Yeah well… life's too fucking short to worry about stupid shit like that. You know my brother was crazy about her in high school- and sounds like Bloss was the same way-."_

" _Yeah. Don't remind me. When he ever started dating Morebucks… I honestly thought she was going to end up in jail- she wanted that chick GONE."_

" _Join the club. He did it to make her jealous. Instead we all suffered. She… never stopped… TALKING. Happiest day of my fucking life was when she ever robbed that bank and got busted finally! Though… that was one hell of a fight between your sister and her I gotta admit I was impressed."_

" _HA! Oh man that was a beautiful- Screaming and swearing, kicking and scratching- it was the cat fight from hell. It was GREAT."_

" _Brick certainly thought so- I think he watched that clip a hundred times. You know I bet he still has it in his computer somewhere."_

"… _Why doesn't that shock me? Fool."_

" _Try living with it."_

" _Much respect."_

" _Thanks. Likewise dealing with the horny Pink Puff."_

" _I didn't need that mental image."_

" _You're welcome."_

" _Fuck off."_

" _Just say the word baby."_

"… _Okay let's go."_

" _Tch yeah- Huhza what!?"_

" _I said. Let's. Go. What's wrong Rowdyruff? Lose your nerve?"_

"… _. No. Okay. Fuck boardwalks. My place or yours?"_

-l-

Idiot

Stop thinking.

Just… mix the cheese. Just stir with the spoon.

… Stop laughing you traitors!

Stop having so much fun with your stupid… uncle!

He was stupid!

-l-

" _That's right- who's a good girl! You're a good girl! Look at that little smile! That's right you love your Uncle Butch most of all- uh huh- who needs Uncle Boomer- no no- I'm the favorite. Ain't I Rosie Posie?"_

" _She has no idea who you are yet idiot."_

" _Bull shit. She knows who I am! It's the Rowdyruff blood in her- we can sense each other- just like she knows her auntie see! She's looking right at ya!"_

" _No… it looks more like she's looking at my big shiny watch."_

" _Bull. You know your aunt don't Rosie Posie?"_

" _I honestly cannot take you seriously anymore- seriously Rosie. Posie?"_

" _Brick calls her "little flower"."_

" _Brick is her "father". He has an excuse. You don't."_

" _Yeah whatever- Rosie Posie suits her better than Little Flower. Please. I'm so much better at nicknames."_

" _Uh huh. Sure. You keep on telling yourself that- and what are you doing- don't give her to me! I suck with babies!"_

" _Just hold her head see- Brick had to teach me too don't feel bad. Just hold her like this-."_

" _Butch. I suck with-!"_

" _Really- I see otherwise."_

" _Told you she just wanted my watch."_

" _And your face."_

"… _Shut up. Don't pull my hair… Rosie… Posie."_

" _HA! See! Told ya!"_

" _Shut up."_

" _Told you I'm good with nicknames Butterfly."_

"… _. Don't ever call me that again."_

" _Why... it suits ya."_

-l-

Fucking… hell.

Okay… this looked… yellow enough. This looked like the box… kind of. Some of the letters were kind of mushy but- close enough!

She was too a good cook! She could do _anything!_ Nothing was too scary or impossible for Buttercup Utonium to accomplish or conquer!

Nothing!

-l-

" _I can't believe this."_

"… _You… don't like it?"_

"… _Why are you doing this?"_

" _Because I lov-."_

" _Will you stop saying that!"_

"… _Okay?"_

" _It would never work."_

" _How do you know?"_

" _Because I'm leaving in a week you fucking-! WHY! What the fuck! Why'd you have to go and ruin a perfectly fine-!"_

" _Arrangement? Being fuck buddies? Is that all you think this is Butterfly? Fuck. Buddies? Explain the snail then!"_

" _I told you I was drunk! One tequila. Two Tequila. Three Tequila floor!"_

" _So you don't love me?"_

" _No."_

" _You're lying."_

" _Fuck off."_

" _You're a terrible liar Butterfly. It's the everything nice in you."_

" _Fuck off snail boy!"_

" _That the best you can do Spicy?"_

" _Oh what! A new nickname now!?"_

" _As many as I damn need."_

" _Screw you!"_

" _I'd rather do you."_

" _Then do so!"_

" _Not without an answer."_

" _I'm leaving in a week."_

" _The blondes were engaged for almost four years."_

" _That was because Bubbles wanted an extravaganza and to get her Masters first."_

" _My brother never lost patience."_

" _Your brothers are both saps."_

" _True. But they're happy saps. And your sisters are happy… I can make you happy."_

" _Do I look like a fifty's housewife to you!?"_

" _No. Fuck that shit. Of course you ain't. You're my ass kicking, spelunking adventurer Butterfly- I can be a house husband."_

"… _Don't say that."_

" _Say what?"_

" _That word!"_

" _What- "husband"- why shouldn't I? I can think of dirtier words in the English language. If you'd stop being so stupid we can act out a few of our favorite ones right now!"_

"… _I ain't being stupid. I'm being practical."_

" _No… you're being scared is what you are."_

" _I ain't scared!"_

" _Then marry me!"_

" _FINE!"_

" _GOOD!"_

" _YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"_

" _I'M YOUR IDIOT!"_

" _DAMN FUCKING RIGHT YOU ARE-!"_

-l-

STOP IT!

The clatter was sickening and OH FUCK!

Great! Fucking fantastic! Now there was processed cheese sauce _all over_ the counter!

Great. Wonderful. Fantastic!

Fucking…

Son of a-!

Why'd her neck feel so goddamn heavy- fucking thing was stuck in her hair again wasn't it- she really ought to just shave it all off- fucking!

The chain was all rusted and gross and the stupid thing she really ought to just throw it out by now! Not like it meant shit anyway!

-l-

Auntie?

-l-

FUCK!

She stuffed the chain down her shirt just in time for her far too quiet niece to come floating to her eye level.

-l-

Are you okay Auntie? We heard a crash?

-l-

The shit was ruined. It was everywhere.

God… damn it.

-l-

Yeah… sorry Rosie… umm Auntie's hand slipped.

Oh. Are you okay?

Yeah… I am. Just um… no mac and cheese.

Awwwww.

-l-

Footsteps.

The other pink eyed pup was hanging onto the asshole's neck.

Fucker. Stop fucking looking at her.

-l-

Say brats, how's about Uncle Butch just orders us some pizza's instead.

-l-

Stop. Looking. At. Her.

-l-

YAY!

-l-

She grabbed a cloth.

He grabbed one too.

-l-

Need some help there Butterfly?

Stop calling me that and no I don't.

… Shocker.

-l-

She didn't need help from anyone. She didn't need anything… from anyone.

Asshole… fucking… asshole.

 _-l-_

" _You know… you ain't so bad Stud."_

" _Baby you know I ain't."_

" _I can almost tolerate you now."_

" _Well ain't that a coicidink… I was thinking the same about you."_

-l-

Just…

Stop… looking at her…

-l-

" _Just so you know… I'm gonna say it now."_

"… _Go ahead I ain't stopping you."_

" _I love you."_

-l-

Stop…

Looking at her.

-l-

" _I… I love you too…"_

-l-

….Please…

* * *

 _Oh dear. Will our Green erstwhile "fiancee's?" sort things out? And will poor Brick have a working hand by the end of this long... long day? And will Lobster Mama EVER get his red eyed grandson?!_

 _I suppose the plot bunnies will have to be rounded up again at some point._

 _Thanks you reading my lovelies,_

 _Until next time_

 _\- Carrie_


	4. Part III

_Ahh, I missed this universe. And I finally have a set path for the rest of this project- I never intended on leaving this universe high and dry so I apologize again for the hiatus_ _I was torn between two angles here I wanted to explore with this universe and yes- I know its no excuse for such a hiatus but I finally made the choice and I believe it's the right one- I hope y'all agree with me._

 _Enjoy my lovelies!_

* * *

" _ **Paging Dr. Pyndi to maternity Ward six. Dr. Pyndi please head there as soon as possible."**_

-I-

Hands were overrated really. Really not so important in the scheme of things- after all Brick had lived without them until he was oh… thirteen or –Ow! OW! OWWWW!

-I-

" _What the fuck is going on!? Why is this taking so long!? BRICK! WHAT'S GOING ON!?"_

" _Babe, Babe you can do it- Just…breath…. breath.."_

" _DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"_

"… _Yes my love."_

" _GET OUT!"_

" _As you wish my Cherry Blossom."_

" _Don't you use that sweet talking with me! You- You-!"_

"… _.Rowdyruff?"_

 _-l-_

The nurse fled as Brick calmly sauntered out. Laboring Powerpuff Girls… were a unique species. One must… just not argue with them. Living was after all a wonderful thing. He'd be called back in shortly. And there'd be more tears to soothe, more of him confirming he was a loving husband, father and still absolutely devoted to his cherry Blossom. And then she'd likely break his other hand- good thing work was so understanding of the need for paternal leave- Chemical X' shortened the healing time exponentially… but Brick would still be unable to do most briefings or exemplify his case in the courtroom with dramatic hand gestures and such…. In a cast. Let alone two of them. For at least a week.

His practice being already having been "fingerless" for the entirety of childhood of course made it so he'd still be able to function as a father of course- far more important in the scheme of things- he'd be able to tend to the little flowers while mommy and baby slept… and when it was Brick's turn to sleep he'd be able to still caress his beautiful Cherry Blossom's silky skin, kiss her sublime neck and lips, bury his face in her luxuriant hair and curl up with his stunning wife for a well-deserved nap… until the next feeding time happened… an hour… later but at least he'd be able to watch!

Hehehe. One unexpected but delightful quirk of pregnancy. Oh yes. Not that Brick would ever… _ever_ say it loud but he was very much a fan of the fact his beautiful wife had chosen and been able to feed both of their daughters the good old fashioned way. Oh yes. No complaints. None whatsoever.

And the fact that there were the times that Blossom had been too weary to rise out of bed in general in which case Brick had groggily risen, scooped up said crying child, and hand delivered her to Mommy. And then Mommy had chosen to use him as a living headboard- so all three had just lay in bed contently- Brick with his beautiful half naked wife and equally beautiful newborn daughter resting against him like the world's most comfortable pillow. Because he was just that epic a husband and father.

And when the time came inevitably both his lovely flowers would end up asleep- he would simply tuck his slumbering baby into her bassinet and curl back up with his wife for another… two...three hours (?) and then rinse and repeat.

But hey that's parenthood for you- Raccoon Eyes were part of the uniform and sleep became a luxury as sought after as the world's largest diamonds.

… Okay Diamonds could fuck themselves Brick would take an uninterrupted seven or eight hour nap any day of the week.

His brothers...okay to be fair _one_ brother were constantly after him because apparently Brick had "lost his goddamn mind" and "adorable pink brats or not- the "bludgeoner" he was no more."

 _Had_ Brick gone… _soft_?

Maybe.

One could argue it just came out of being a dad. And a husband. He'd been an asshole in his youth- he was mature enough to admit it- memories of his womanizing days especially made him cringe. He really _had_ been a jackass- a lecher even. No wonder Boomer had read him the riot act just after Brick and Blossom had started "dating" for real- a week of being more or less "fuck buddies" didn't merit the girlfriend/boyfriend label apparently.

He'd been offended then, even pissed. Now… Brick saw that his… law enforcement officer of a younger brother… indeed had had quite a few… very good points.

Whether he actually _had_ been motivated by a "concern" versus… "if you break my girlfriend's sister's heart than I'M in trouble"…. Was probably going to remain a mystery.

Oh well. All's well that ends well.

His trusty chair was waiting for him-it had already welcomed two new "Puffs" to the world, maybe this time this same chair would herald the bringing of a new "Ruff" at long last: Not that Brick… wouldn't be happy with another baby girl to add to his brood but… there were some individuals however…

-l-

" _OUT OF MY WAY! FUTURE GRANDMA COMING THROUGH! WHERE IS SHE!? WHERE'S MY DARLING LITTLE BLOSSOM AND THAT SON OF MINE!"_

" _You are hardly a future Grandma you foolish creature! First you are not the biological grandparent of this coming child as we are only the honorary parents of this coming baby's father- our eldest non biological son Brick Jojo and our once worst enemy now most beloved daughter-in-law Blossom Utonium- now Jojo of the Powerpuff Girls- and Second- we already have two honorary granddaughters with flora like names and now in full control of their bladders- our little Rosie and Lily and such- I Mojo Jojo soon to be a grandfather for a third time do ask you- miss nurse where our beloved honorary daughter in law who was once our worst enemy is currently in the midst of giving birth to my newest grandchild and the whereabouts of her husband my eldest honorary-."_

 _-l-_

He slapped his brow and stood up.

Shit. Of _course_ Lobster Mama… had baby radar. Of _course_ it did. Probably knew as soon as Blossom had gone into labor… of course…

For all Brick knew… it had _caused_ said labor.

… There'd been something in those potatoes. Brick knew it. She'd been _way_ too engrossed with those potatoes- Mojo Papa… was a decent chef… but he wasn't _that_ good. Not to mention Lobster Mama who could usually deny the little flowers _nothing_ \- to Blossom's chagrin - had not allowed them to have _any_ potatoes until "Mama had had her fill…"

...Oh fuck Brick's life the fucking lobster had drugged his wife.

How the _hell_ does one explain claws and a tail to teachers…? That wasn't in any expectant parents books… or maybe he'd just skipped the chapter about supernatural /paranormal abilities and far too eager "non biological lobster grandmothers."

Speaking of… they saw him. And the _clicking_ and _clacking_ of Mama's stiletto heels was as ominous as a gong…

Oh… God help them.

-l-

" _BRICK! Darling! How's my baby boy!"_

" _He was never a baby anything you foolish creature- he was created in the guise of a young child- therefore he has never been your "baby" you foolish-!"_

" _Quiet you old geezer! My little boys will always be my babies! But I wasn't talking about THAT anyway- I meant where's my little grandson?"_

-l-

Lobster Mama… seemed _awfully_ sure about… Brick's as of yet unborn child's gender for some reason… Brick didn't like that smile. No… no he did not. Potatoes…. Evil… potoatoes.

-l-

" _Blossom's… still in there… she's not ready to push yet… it's taking an awfully long time…"_

-l-

That expression still didn't change.

Oh… _hell._

-l-

" _well these things DO take time darling. You should know that by now don't you think?"_

"… _Mama… what did you do?"_

" _Yes. What did you do you foolish creature! You have been far too giddy and laughing too much- especially all the way here! Your laughing is not in your usual giddy self such as when you make young children cry by popping their balloons but instead in a familiar I am up to no good but I do not care evil high pitched giddy laughter! What have you done to our beloved daughter in law, the wife of our honorary son and mother of our non biological grandchildren!?"_

" _I've done nothing baaaaad."_

" _Mama! What did you do to my wife!?"_

 _-l-_

Oh God… horns… tails… claws… how did one get gloves for claws!? Would they be sensitive to the cold because they'd be cold blooded!? Would they have to make the house a "cat free" zone because his baby would always smell of delicious crustacean!?

Rosie wouldn't like that- Daddy… may or may not without Mommy's prior knowledge promised that if his little flower got all A's this year he'd get her a kitten…

-l-

" _You foolish imbecile! You non thinking red crustacean! What did you do!? I demand answers immediately as to what you did to our dear daughter-in-law and former worst enemy- Blossom Utonium- now Jojo- a name I am most happy was able to be bestowed upon her by our eldest honorary son and father of this aforementioned non biological honorary grandchild on it's way as we speak-!"_

" _Oh hush you silly monkey- I did nothing baaaaad."_

" _I am an ape!"_

 _-l-_

Rosie had gotten all A' pluses so far _and_ ended up "president" of her kindergarten by a landslide, … his little genius. No wonder of course with her parentage but regardless… deal's a deal… and…

Err… kittens were trainable… they wouldn't scratch up all his lovely wife's… beloved furniture… course it wouldn't!

Right?

-l-

" _I told Brick after all. I made my wishes quite clear when he and our darling Blossom wed. I would not be denied my red eyed grandson."_

 _-l-_

And yes… Artemis was an overprotective wolf… but she would be focused on protecting the newest member of the Jojo clan so… Rosie would be feeling lonely anyway… she'd need a little furry friend and he and Blossom _had_ discussed at some point or another Rosie having a pet of her own- she was getting to be that age and-...

Well...hamsters… were boring… they didn't do much… and…

Wait… what was that!? Wishes… Red eyed grandsons…

Aw… _fuuuuuuck._

-l-

" _MAMA WHAT DID YOU DO!?"_

" _I gave you two plenty of time. Don't blame me."_

" _I've only been married for-! Rosie's only five- she- we- These things take time Mama!- I have no control over it-!"_

" _Exactly. Let Mama take care of everything."_

" _But- But- Mama! What did you do to- Oh God my kid's really going to have fucking horns and a tail... I mean... how am I going to explain that to their teachers!?"_

" _BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKKK!"_

-l-

The scream was loud and piercing.

… Here we go…

That laughter was horrifying. And disturbingly reminiscent of the old days.

His father put a paw on Brick's shoulder.

-l-

" _Good luck eldest son. Just know that I, Mojo Jojo shall love and cherish any sort of child that comes from the womb of Blossom Jojo, my honorary non biological daughter-in-law and carries your DNA, as my eldest son- I Mojo Jojo shall love my non biological grandchild. Even if it comes out with claws and a tail."_

 _"BRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!"_

-l-

They flinched.

-l-

" _And you shall be in my thoughts during this long process of labor. I have brought plenty of Chemical X' to heal your soon to be crushed bones."_

" _BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!"_

"… _Good luck my son."_

" _Oh don't be so dramatic you old geezer- it'll be fine."_

" _No thanks to you meddling creature! What did you do to our daughter in law- I Mojo Jojo demand an explanation at once!"_

" _I did nothing baaaaaaad."_

" _LIES! What did you in your unhinged quest for a red eyed grandson do to our daughter-in-law you- Wait… THE POTATOES! I KNEW IT! I MOJO JOJO KNEW IT! You who never so much as lift a claw to aid me, Mojo Jojo in his Thanksgiving feast every year suddenly wished to have full control over the mashed potatoes a staple of the Thanksgiving dinner and what happens to be our Blossom's favorite dish of I- Mojo Jojo's creation! Her favorite father-in-law and former worst enemy-!"_

" _You're her ONLY father-in-law you senile old coot!"_

" _DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT- What sort of trickery did you inflict you foolish creature exactly eight months and 2 weeks ago!"_

" _Nothing baaaaaad."_

-l-

Brick sidled away. Lobster Mama and Mojo Papa began yelling and now everyone was staring in their direction. Brick did not want to be in the immediate area when Mojo Papa inevitably brought out the laser… Boomer could try all he wanted- he would never be able to fully confiscate _every_ piece of weaponry their father possessed- he hid them too well.

The nurse gave Brick a wide eyed look as she ran out of the now ice covered room- the other one peeked from under the desk where she had ducked- he took a deep breath and braced his shoulders.

She was gripping the side rails of the bed- bending them out of shape and a little woman was bent over her- touching her stomach- judging from the lab coat looks like Pyndi had been found at last.

-l-

" _Ah… right on time. Mr. Jojo I was just telling your wife I do think we're about ready to begin. It won't be long now. Now… I know we discussed the option of inducing labor in the past-."_

" _I'd prefer a natural birth Doctor."_

" _Yes I know Mrs. Jojo but you have a rather small frame and multiple births can be-."_

-l-

…. Say what?!

-l-

"… _I'm sorry… did you just say… multiple… as in… more than one…?"_

" _Yes…Were you not aware that your wife is carrying twins Mr. Jojo?"_

" _T-T-Twins?... as in… TWO!? TWO!? Two children!? TWO BABIES!? AT ONCE! But- But the doctor- he… ultra sound- we- but… but- we only have one crib- the picture- one baby- was- but we-we-we-!"_

" _I understand if this is a bit of a shock but it's very possible for an ultrasound to be inaccurate- the positioning of the baby and such- Mr. Jojo… are you alright? You seem to be rather pale would you like to sit down? "_

" _Brick…honey? Are you…? Honey? BRICK!?"_

"… _Oh dear. Uh… Code F people!"_

" _What's Code F mean!?"_

"… _Father down in the maternity ward…"_

 _-l-_

Part III: Of malls and jungles

-l-

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Ladders, Ladders, ladders! HA! I win Uncle Butch!

-l-

This was a game rigged for children. In fact _all_ of these board games were rigged if one was over five! Rosie beamed up at him- and floated right in his face.

-l-

I win Uncle Butch! That's five out of five! I'm the best! Ha ha!

-l-

… If ever a day came when someone wanted to question the paternity of this child… Butch would simply laugh. For all the pink in this kid there was indeed a big helping of _Red_. The gleefully triumphant grin and smug folding of the arms as she floated to Butch's level.

Fuck. Put a red baseball cap on the kid and a red sweater and voila. Instant Brick. Pink eyes didn't matter.

-l-

So… what's my prize! You said you'd gimme something if I won! And I did! So gimme!

-l-

… No question. This was no Powerpuff. This was a Rowdyruff. The first Rowdyruff girl. And Butch couldn't be prouder. No wonder his brother, domesticated and whipped as he was, could deny this little girl _nothing_.

Rosie may have _looked_ like Blossom- but no fucking question that in everything else this was Brick's kid. He'd listened ( albeit wearily) to the never ending gushing from the proud Wolf Daddy about his little pup- only five years old and already more or less she was in charge of the school. She ran the playground, everyone looked up to her and no one crossed her.

A true Rowdyruff.

Though on the other hand- Rosie didn't run the school with an iron fist, she didn't intimidate the kids with punches and kicks- no in true "Blossom" fashion she apparently ran her playground empire with diplomacy and tact. The other children gathered round her for protection not out of fear-After all the one time some kids with a death wish from across town had _dared_ try to stage some kind of hostile takeover of Pokey Oaks playground with as Brick had described it- some pathetic showing of muscle and even more foolhardy intimidation using a water gun militia- Little Rosie Posie had only calmly floated off her jungle gym throne- calmly asked the interlopers to leave- and when they had refused and even drenched the Rowdyruff Girl in water- only then had Rosie nonchalantly lifted up the jungle gym itself and repeated her order to leave. They had done so while screaming for their mommies.

Brick was pretty sure they'd pissed themselves too. He almost had from laughing. Blossom hadn't been so amused but Brick had let it slip he'd given Rosie an extra scoop of ice cream for dessert that night. His little Rowdyruff Girl.

Lily though… she was definitely the powerpuff of the Pack. She may have been two… but the kid was a wimp. Hiding behind Daddy's legs and now the feral beast that his brother had allowed into his home only sat serenely while the tiny Ruff Puff had buried herself in its massive bulk- almost swamped by it.

Loud laughter however got his attention and they both looked behind them- even the beast seemed interested.

-l-

Oh my God! You're kidding! That's the greatest thing I've ever- yes it is- don't even deny it you're laughing behind your labor screams- Yeah I thought so- so what can I do for you sister of mine?

-l-

Butterfly… No… bad.

 _Buttercup_ came strolling out of the kitchen with a shit eating grin on her face- one could hear the hysterical screams on the other side of the phone.

Whelp- looks like the next Ruff Puff was on their way alright. Though why was the wolf mama the one on the phone- shouldn't it be wolf daddy…?

His eyebrow rose and she nodded with another snicker.

… What the fuck Brick was it _really_ that terrifying an experience to be in that room?

-l-

He fainted didn't he?

Yep… you have _got_ to hear this Butch.

-l-

The phone was put on speaker- was this a good idea? There were "puppy" ears around after all.

..On the other hand… she'd called him… by name.

-l-

" _ **It's not funny Buttercup! Not at all- this is serious! This is… this is- we only have one- AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH-**_

" _Push honey- Push! You can do it baby!"_

" _ **STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO MASTER FAINTS A LOT!"**_

" _Yes dear…"_

 _-l-_

His brother is so whipped.

-l-

" _ **Buttercup! I need you to listen- OH DEAR GOD IT HURTS! - I… we only have one bassinet and- I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I LOVE YOU BUT I HATE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR GODDAMN-!"**_

 _ **-l-**_

Ahem. Blossom there are little ears in the room.

-l-

" _ **... Oh. Yes… of course- Hi babies! Mommy's okay don't you worry! And Daddy…. D-Daddy is too- aren't you honey?"**_

" _Just… fine…Cherry Blossom… babe…hand… hand is being crushed… Need that… need my thumb… "_

" _ **Brick you're scaring the girls- now Buttercup… listen to me… there… we need another bassinet- one of you needs to go to the- the… mall! Store- Something! Somewhere! I don't know! Just… bassinet! - BRIIIIIICCCCCKKKK PAIN!"**_

" _I'll take it from here honey- Butch. Normally I'd go myself-."_

" _**LIKE HELL YOU'RE LEAVING ME!"**_

" _But obviously that's a no go- so just listen… get us a bassinet- and hurry I don't see this lasting much longer-!"_

" _ **EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!"**_

" _BUTCH JUST GO TO THE MALL!"_

-l-

Click.

 **-l-**

The fu-..fudge is a bassinet?

I don't have a fu-fudging clue.

Uh… why do they need two?

Twins.

…. You're _kidding_ me right?

Nope.

But the picture-!

Wrong. One of em' s been hidin' behind the other- in _just_ the right way to be out of sight. Apparently they're camera shy.

They're… wait they still don't -!?

Nope… they're _shy_ remember.

… Jesus Christ…So… what do we do?

...We go find them this Bass… thing.

But what the he-heck is a-!?

I don't know!

You're a woman ain't you supposed to-!

Scuse me!? Did you just pull the sexist card on _me!? House Husband!_

… Don't you _dare_ bring that up! That was _your_ choice! Not _mine!_

 _Bull Sh_ -shitake mushrooms! It was _my_ choice! You signed the god-da-dang paper!

-l-

A little cough interrupted them.

-l-

Auntie Butterfly. Uncle Butch- is this what mommy and daddy are looking for?

-l-

Rosie lifted up what looked like… some kind of cradle or whatever and- ohhh- they needed another _crib_ that made sense- what was with this _bass_ net shit!?

Also… Auntie "butterfly" heh heh. Oh he loved his niece. She looked ready to explode - this was fantastic.

Oh revenge was sweet. Sweet and _delicious._

The cradle thing was plucked out of the tiny rowdyruff girl's hands.

-l-

Yeah… probably. Good job kiddo- Okay… Uncle Butch- you heard the crazy redheads- you go off and get one of those… bass things while Auntie " _BUTTERCUP_ " stays here with the pups.

Uh no. how about Uncle _Butch_ stays withs the pups while Auntie _Butterfly_ goes and gets the bass… net… thing or whatever.

Uh. No. I don't think so.

Uh yeah. I do think so.

No!

Yes!

I don't know sh-shindigs about this baby… sh-shin stuff!

Well neither do I! You're a woman!

Again with the sexist bull cr-crabapples!

I ain't going!

Well neither am I!

You can't make me!

You can't make _me!_

Bi-Birch tree!

As- Ash tree!

WILLOW TREE! YAY! I know my trees too Auntie Butterfly and Uncle Butch! I gots a hundred on my nature test this week! Yay Daddy's going to buy me a kitty!

Doesn't your sister hate cats…?

Loathes them.

… We better get this bass thing huh.

Yeah. If only to honor your brother's last request.

Guess we're going to to the mall then.

…oh...goody.

Ooh… _scary_ big bad _civilization._

…..Rosie sweetie look away for a second.

-l-

 _ **SMACK  
**_ -l-

OW!

Good girl- go get your shoes on.

 _NOT_ the pink ones! No, those get glitter _everywhere_! Not on Uncle Butch's ride!

...ride!? Oh… Oh dear God no- uh uh- no- not my nieces! We're flying there- uh uh! I'm not trusting the wolf puppies on that… that _thing!_

-l-

Oh she was _not_ insulting Butch's ride. Oh she had best not be talking about his Harley! A ride which this one right here had had no problem with _before!_

-l-

" _You're kidding right?"_

" _What's wrong with it?"_

" _Why do you bother, we can fly?"_

" _But on this baby I can_ _ **sail**_ _on the open road. C'mon- try it."_

" _Lemme see your license first…."_

" _Tch- didn't know the so called "toughest fighter" was a chicken."_

" _... Gimme the fucking helmet and so help me if we crash I ain't pulling you out of the wreckage!"_

" _Heh, you got it baby and don't worry- Butch'll take goooood care of you."_

" _I don't "need" to be taken care of thanks."_

" _Never said you did Baby… but that don't mean I don't want to."_

" _...The fuck do you mean by thaaaaaa- BUTCH SLOW DOWN!"_

" _What Baby don't you want to sail - Ha ha!"_

" _No I want to live! SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN!"_

 _-l-_

Rosie was tugging on her sleeve.

-l-

Auntie. Mommy says Lily can't fly very far yet though! She keeps falling- that's why Daddy always takes the car when we go grocery shopping.

-l-

….Grocery shopping with the Wolf Pups… now _that_ was a sight Butch would pay to see. No doubt Rosie's big pink eyes would be put to good use and Lily was being taught the ropes so while the Wolf Mama was distracted with the ever there list and such- Wolf Daddy was discreetly adding new things into that bulging cart because he could deny his pups nothing and was also doing his best to hide it from his sharp eyed wife.

In other words video evidence just how _whipped_ his big brother really was.

 _Whiiiiipped._

He called himself a Rowdyruff Boy still- _puh-lease_.

-l-

She wasn't happy. Oh she wasn't happy and seeing her that angry was usually pretty sexy. But… she was focused on only getting the wolf pups… strapped in ( seriously…?)

-l-

You know my ride's perfectly safe Butterfly.

Fudge that- I'm not listening to Wolf Mama- she is _not_ going to be happy hearing her pups were on this thing.

Meh- she'll be too caught up in twin bliss – or sleeping- seriously squeezin' two kids at once- ouch.

Tch- can't be as bad as bullet ants.

…Bullet what?

Hold onto your sister and remember… do _not_ tell Mommy about this little adventure okay girls?

I know Auntie- don't worry I won't tell- Uncle Butch takes me riding all the time- see?

-l-

… Traitor. Her eyebrow rose up and his niece knocked on her… maybe custom little pink helmet that… Butch had maybe gotten her for her birthday last-… never mind. Someone had to make sure the last hope for a new Rowdy generation wasn't completely made soft!

Her father sure wasn't gonna do it!

More tugging this time on Butch's leather jacket. He looked down and Rosie was fiddling with her little helmet- clearly she didn't like it and well too bad. Uncle Butch had rules- she knew this.

And unlike _Daddy_ \- Uncle Butch was by no means whipped in any sort. Helmet stayed on. End of discussion.

And…uh whoa. Those… those eyes _were_ kind of big… uh…

Holy shit double whammy now… uh… two mini pink eyed helmet wearing brats on his bike. Err… uh.

-l-

What is it Rosie Posie?

Can we stop for ice cream after we get done at the mall Uncle Butch?

Ice Cweam! Ice Cweam!

Uh… ask… Auntie.

-l-

Jesus Christ get those pink darts away from him. Fuck… okay so maybe Brick didn't have a chance in hell and he was actually… doing a pretty good job at keeping his kids… not spoiled to the point of utter brat hood… like Morebucks… spoiled more or less.

Still didn't mean Brick wasn't a _bitch_ but… okay so maybe it had been inevitable.

Guess being a…dad meant shit like that was… kind of inevitable.

Just like the green emeralds blazing in his direction were also… inevitable.

-l-

Ask your uncle.

But he just said to ask you!

And now I'm telling you to ask your Uncle.

…okay… um Uncle Butch-?

-l-

She wasn't winning this.

-l-

Ask your Aunt.

-l-

Her eyes narrowed. He fought the urge to lick his lips.

-l-

Ask your uncle.

-l-

Her nostrils were flaring- he'd forgotten how fucking sexy she was when she was annoyed- irritated- his hands tightened on the accelerator. The girls cheered of course but now it was a stand off.

-l-

See, I can't make that decision girls- _Auntie Butterfly_ was left in charge I was merely called in for backup.

-l-

Fists clenched. Nostrils flared. A sucked in breath made that chest rise up and down- and she just glared at him.

And Hot damn… if it still wasn't the hottest fucking thing he had _ever_ seen. His hand felt heavy… it was so… fucking dumb. He should have melted _it_ down. Thrown it into the Wolf Den's handy fireplace- thrown it in the fucking ocean- stomped on it- run it over… but instead..

He'd just moved it to another finger.

He _couldn't_ make himself get rid of it like some kind of sissy _bitch_ and…

-l-

… _.Hello…._

… _Brick…I did something baaaaad maaaaan._

… _.Its three in the fucking morning. I have an eight month old next to me sleeping for once and-_

 _ **Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa**_

 _ **His bike better be in six pieces on a highway and he better be dying- shh shh- its okay Lily shh shhh Mama's here… hush little baby...**_

… _And now I don't. But I do have an irate wife right now and… Rosie when did you come sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed?_

 _ **There's a monster in my closet Daddy- it keeps waving at me. It's cweepy!**_

… _That's just one of Grandma's familiars honey… Grandma likes to know you're safe._

 _ **Are you joking? Again!? I think a monitor and a hundred pound dog sleeping by her bed is more than sufficient! – oh shh, shh, it's okay honey shh shh- Rosie sweetie can you get your sister's burping cloth on the table there- be a big girl and help Mommy while Daddy sees what his brother needs at… three in the morning?**_

 _Awwww is Lilykins saaaaaaad? Well Uncle Butch is saaaaad too so we can allll be sad togetherrrrrrrrr…_

 _Oh you have got to be…Butch are you drunk!?_

 _Noooooo…. Well… I mean… kindaaaaa but…the asssss deserved itttttttt. And the snitch called the coooooops._

… _Are you in jail?_

… _yeahhhh…. Kinda…_

… _Why are you in jail?!_

 _ **Wait what!? Why is he- oh oh dear- Lily, Lily it's okay, it's- oh. Ah- that's why. Okay, time for a diaper change. Shh, shh it's okay- it's okay.**_

 _ **Mommy… I wanna go back to sleep. Can I stay in you and Daddy's bed?**_

 _Butch… how the heck did you end up in jail on a Wednesday… oh wait excuse me THURSDAY morning?!_

 _I toooooold you asssssssss deserved ittttttt and don't worry Rosie Posie Uncle Butch will protect youuuuuuu at least he's goooood for somethings!_

 _ **...Oh dear. Brick… he sounds rather…**_

… _.Yeah I know. Okay… Butch just… stay put… I'll be right there-_

 _ **No! My Daddy! Stay here! Mine! Mine!**_

 _ **Rosie, sweetie Daddy's gotta go get Uncle Butch out of some trouble-… which he'd better have a darn good explanation for- you stay here, Mommy will protect you from… waving demon baby sitters…Brick please chase that thing out before you leave sweetheart.**_

 _Will do. Alright- I should be back in an hour. Rosie, Daddy's gonna make it go away and stay away alright- he'll talk to Grandma… again. You just go back to sleep little Flower._

 _ **Okay… love you Daddy.**_

 _Love you too baby- go to sleep. Daddy'll get rid of it- promise._

 _ **It's freezing wear a jacket- don't argue with me. Also it has one eye and is grinning like a loon- that thing is creeping "me" out-let alone our poor daughter-. Artemis is cowering under the bed and growling. Kindy save our dog. And Butch. I have no idea what happened but good luck I suppose… I hope you… feel better? – Brick do you want me to get a blanket or something for the couch?**_

 _No babe- I'll just bail him out and drop him at his place- Lily looks ready to pass out again so take the chance and get some more sleep- I got this._

 _ **Well… alright if you're sure… just be careful honey… there are crazy people out at night.**_

 _I'm a Rowdyruff Boy._

 _ **You're also my husband. I worry. Deal with it. Now go rescue your brother… and the dog. Please- seriously Brick now it's looking at "me"! What is that vile- Lobster Mama… needs to learn to be more discreet…**_

 _Yeah... I know I'll talk to Mama again… just… take Lily and go back to sleep._

 _Muuuuuust be soooo niiiiiiice. Haaaaaving a faaaaamily and kiiiiiids and a w-w-wife who loooooooooves you despite being an idddddddiiiiiiooooooootttttt!_

… _Butch the hell is the matter with you-?!- fuck that thing is ugly, my poor little girl- excuse me for a sec Butch._

 _Taaaaake yourrrr tiiiiiiime. You have important faaaaaaaaamilllly things to worry abouuuuuutttttt!_

 _HEY! Listen you're scaring my three year old! Get outta there! Oh for the love of…. Some guard dog you are! - go on ya crazy mutt- don't look at me I didn't let it in here! – Oye! I said Get out! Don't make me roast you you… I dunno what you are but leave damn it! – Yeah and I'll be talking to your master too! Is that one of my wife's…. GIMME THAT! What does Him want with… never mind just get the fuck out. - Butch you still there- yeah sorry our… mother is too protective of my daughters… and I don't know why but this thing had one of Blossom's hair brushes… I don't like the looks of this. So lets make this quick- where are you?_

… _Uhhhh jail._

… _I know that smart ass- which precinct? Central- South- are you even in Townsville or did you-._

 _I dunno…_

… _oh… fabulous. Okay how did you end up in jail._

 _I…b-b-broke a p-p-pool table… with someone's h-h-head…_

… _.. Ah. Okay then. Assault, battery, public intoxication. This is going to be a fun morning oh I can already tell._

 _Y-Yeah… and I can't… I can't understand a thing anyone's sayin' and… they're all yelling at me and I just wanted her b-b-b-baaaaaaackkkkk!_

… _Butch. Where the fuck are you?_

 _I did what you said! I did everything right! I let her do her own thing! But then we both got mad and I got drunk and I got even more drunk and I didn't want to get annulled and-!_

 _ANNULED!? WAIT WHAT!? WHAAAAT!? Whoa whoa, slow down- Butch where are you!? Butch what do you mean "annulled" you got fucking MARRIED!?  
_

 _Uh huh._

 _To who!?_

… _MY B-B-B-BUUUUUUUTTTTTERFFFLLLLYYYYY!_

… _Buttercup?! Wait… but… when did she get back in the-!?... BUTCH ARE YOU IN SOUTH AMERICA?!_

 _Y-Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh_

… _. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO YOU IDIOT! … Oh for the love of- fuck. Okay… just… just lemme call… Boomer._

 _Nooooo! Don't call him! He'll tell Bubbles!_

 _Uh… yeah that's the plan- I can't speak Spanish dumb ass good thing our sister in law can!_

 _Nooooo no one can knoooooow! She didn't even tell her sisters! We were dumb! But I wanted her! And she wanted me! But all we did was argue! And that's no marriage and I know that but I still got upset and drunk and she got upset and drunk and her friends from the Geo camp came and got her but they left me here cause the guy wanted her too cause my Butterfly is so fucking hot and he's an ass so I hit him with the pool table and I hate him and he's an ass but he's gonna lie to my Butterfly and tell her all this shit and- and- fuuuuuuuck Brick I fucked uuuuuupppp!_

… _Yes… Yes you did. Fine… is there anyone… who can speak…English near you._

 _Yeah… one guy._

 _Put him on the phone. I have to call Blossom though- no don't start- obviously my wife is gonna start worrying if I'm gone for more than the "hour" it would have taken if this was Townsville now won't she._

 _Y-Y-Yeah… I'm sorry man… apologize to Blossy for me tooooooooo – she's my favorite sister in law man… she brought me and Butterfly together and…. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I woke the pink brats up- I'm not only a shitty husband but a terrible uncle and….._

… _Butch… you "did" sign the papers right_

 _No._

… _You're still married?_

… _I guess._

… _this could be a problem._

 _Yeah._

 _She signed it._

 _Yeah._

 _And that's what set you off._

 _Yeah._

 _Is she aware you didn't sign it?_

 _I dunno._

… _Just… put the guy on the phone._

 _Kay… don't… don't tell anyone man… please._

… _Fine. I won't…_

 _Not even Blossom?_

… _No. Not even Blossom._

 _-l-_

Least Brick had been good on his word. Something told Butch that if Wolf Mama had even an _inkling_ of what had happened between… Butch and… her sister that… well she wouldn't have stayed quiet this long.

And thankfully the two blondes didn't have a _clue_ – cause Butch knew what those two saps would have done- they would have been scandalized, horrified, before they would have tried to "patch" things up and… yeah.

Boom had mentioned the ring… once. But well that's what gloves were for anyway and he'd moved it to his index finger. It was a piece of beat up silver anyway- something cheap they'd found in a local market- grinning like loons and laughing at their "genius" having avoided the spectacle and insanity that had been their siblings nuptial planning.

Just fuck it and get it over with. Those had been her exact words. And when he'd looked at her that night- those new rings bright and shiny from the hasty polish they'd gotten before being slipped on matching fingers… man… Butch had never felt… anything remotely like that again.

It hadn't been just because she was naked. Nope. Nothing like that. Though he knew for a fact of all the "Puffs" his Butterfly was the hottest of them all- not that he'd say that out loud- he didn't feel like getting in that nasty "debate" again with his brothers. Never let Boomer near alcohol- it was a good thing Brick would only drink soda water at their "brotherly" gatherings now- someone had to stay sober.

But… when he had ever looked at her… staring up at him with that… _look_ in her eyes…

Something had… risen up in him… not like that he meant but… something… _in_ him. Like a feeling or some shit.

He'd known he was gonna be the greatest "house husband" ever- he was gonna take care of the homefront while she went off spelunking- his gym would be covered in memorabilia from her trips _\- The_ _Greens' Jungle_ \- hell of a gym name- and who knows- maybe a mini Butterfly or Butch had come along… they'd wait a few years and then… they'd all have just… gone off together on wild adventures.

He'd seen it in her eyes. He'd _seen_ it damn it.

He'd seen all of that…

And then he'd opened his fucking mouth. And she had too- and it had turned into a nightmare and… fuck.

Just…

She'd taken down that bun she always shoved her hair in- and shoved the helmet on over it.

-l-

This is a terrible idea. For the love of God please no _sailing_ with the Pups on board.

-l-

…She remembered? She was avoiding his direct gaze and he almost felt his stomach jolt when her hands wrapped around his waist as she sat behind him. The little Pups in question were giggling and cheerful- they loved it when… Uncle Butch took them "sailing" but…

-l-

Can do Butterfly.

-l-

She stiffened. He stiffened in sync.

-l-

Just a habit. Sorry. Hold on… Buttercup. Okay brats- we're off a bass-a-whatever hunting! To the mall! Hold on tight!

-l-

The girls cheered as his trusty bike sped off- course they did but… his grip on the handles increased.

Why the fuck was she holding him tight. He'd meant it as an uncle thing not…

-l-

Brings back memories huh stud…

… Yeah…. Guess it does.

-l-

That grip… just only seemed to… get tighter.

-l-

" _Admit it."_

" _Admit what? You're an insane driver? Gladly!"_

" _You liked it."_

" _Just keep on telling yourself that."_

" _Tch- you fight off jaguars, fall down mountains and don't even bat an eye… but this…?"_

" _There's a difference. Those things… I'm in control… this however… I wasn't."_

" _What… don't you trust me Butterfly?"_

"… _. Yes."_

"… _Then what's the problem?"_

"… _I don't want to trust you."_

" _Why…?"_

" _Because."_

-l-

The grip was growing tighter and tighter- he finally booked it. She flinched back from the sudden acceleration.

Tch… typical.

-l-

" _Because why…Butterfly?"_

" _Because… I already do….and…"_

" _And…?"_

" _It…scares me."_

-l-

-l-

Problem Buttercup? You're not scared are ya?

… No. Course not. I'm not scared of anything.

Course not.

-l-

How could Butch… ever have thought otherwise?

-l-

* * *

 _Ah Green angst. Gotta love it. And Twins. Poor Brick…. Well actually more poor Blossom but naughty Lobster Mama's and their… mystery potato surprise… ah the humanity._

 _Hopefully the next update will "not" take this long- but I'm still hard at work to complete the "Red" Summer of "As Time Goes By" - by the end of well – "Summer" ahaha. And I still have "Caged" to do- but I fully intend on finishing this project- it will not be left in the dust. I am determined!_

 _XD Thanks for reading my lovelies- until next time!_

 _-Cheers,_

 _Carrie_


	5. Part IV

" _ **Alright Mrs. Jojo- your contractions are speeding up: Shouldn't be long now."**_

-l-

Well this was _excellent_ news! See- not even that bad! What were his parents so worried about? Tch- piece of cake- ow. Ow. Owww.

-l-

 _Crack._

-l-

" _Oh? What do YOU have to be smiling about buddy? HMM! Oh yes you've got the easy job don't you DARLING! Just sitting there all smug in all your male glory ready to reap the rewards of your MALE prowess while the FEMALE here does all the WORK! Oh is that a flinch? You're in pain- YOU'RE IN PAIN! HERE HAVE SOME MORE!"_

-l-

 _Crack!_

-l-

S-See? N-Nothing….ow… t-to… worry- ow-ow-ow oh his wife was beautiful when she was homicidally angry and in labor- now really Brick Jojo was the luckiest man on the planet- two b-beautiful d-daughters - Ow.- A nice h-house - Ow.

A loyal… ow… ow… oh God ow,. G-Guard dog… protecting Brick's p-pups.

And of course...Brick had his… -Ow…. Mercy… please… ow… .

Beautiful… lovely… radiant… C-Cherry…

-l-

" _BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!"_

" _It's okay baby- I'm here!"_

" _I'm sorrrrrryyyyyyy I love youuuuu! It's just- AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

" _It'-s' it's okay honey I love you too- just-! OW! Okay… Okay… Blossom… C-Cherry Blossom -b-baby! Babe! Hand- Hand You're going to break my-!"_

 _CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK_

-l-

 _TWO SCREAMS!? IN UNISON!?_

The red honorary grandmother lobster creature and potato sabotager leaned back ever so contently with a high pitched little giggle in its wake as Mojo Papa could only blanch and peer over his shoulder to where the harsh bloodcurdling screams of both his eldest non biological but honorary son and his beloved former worst enemy now darling honorary daughter-in-law now echoed through Townsville General's waiting Room.

He also caught a glimpse of the other honorary grandfather to be in the room: Frazzled and having had rushed home from his wife's- the other honorary mother-in-law and grandmother- one Sandra Keane's annual kindergarten teachers convention where John Utonium: Mojo Papa's other former worst enemy now coolly civil rival honorary grandfather who persisted in his wrong belief that he- John Utonium was the favorite non official grandfather of Mojo Papa's honorary non biological but most beloved granddaughters- when it was in fact he - Mojo Jojo- who was the favorite of the pink eyed children who consistently climbed over Mojo Jojo as if he were a jungle gym and who his youngest tiny pink eyed honorary granddaughter persisted in calling… a puppy.

Mojo was not a puppy. Mojo was in fact a simian! An ape! But she would learn in time- it was after all only recently little Lily had acquired the ability to speak coherently and enunciate what she wanted versus high pitched noises of varying volumes and pulling at his hair and again persisting in calling him "Grandpa Puppy"- Mojo Jojo was not a canine. He was a simian.

At least however honorary granddaughter Lily had not decided Mojo's helmet was a musical instrument as his other beloved honorary granddaughter had decided long ago with one of Honorary daughter in law Blossom Utonium's- now Jojo's- hairbrushes and it had taken Mojo's eldest honorary son scooping up his far too hyperactive child for a nap to salvage Mojo's hearing.

He blamed the red creature to his right. Far too much of an evil influence on the child. Far too much time was spent with her red crustacean like honorary grandma.

Another harsh screech- this was a rather long ordeal this time. Professor John Utonium- the unchosen unfavorite grandfather flinched once more. He did not take these events well- Sandra Keane the tolerable second favorite grandmother figure was calm and serene as always reading her novel quietly as her foolish husband fretted and continued to mutter threatening diatribes towards Mojo's eldest (and not to blame) honorary son: No doubt his honorary son was simply too irresistible for Mojo's beloved honorary daughter in law to resist and thus here they were again.

-l-

" _If I hear my baby scream one more time I'm going to-."_

" _John dear, remember your blood pressure."_

" _But my baby!"_

" _Has babies of her own now John."_

 _"But-!"_

" _We've talked about this dear."_

" _But listen how she's-!"_

" _Her husband is with her."_

" _AND THIS IS HIS FAULT!"_

" _I believe equal blame on both their parts can be allotted dear."_

" _... my baby…."_

" _Read your science journal and be quiet John."_

" _...Yes dear."_

-l-

Sandra continued flipping through her novel.

-l-

" _Ohhhh Sandra darling- is that the latest Henderson mystery?"_

" _Oh why yes it is- Have you read it yet?"_

" _Oh my yes- I'm about halfway through-!"_

-l-

….Mojo Jojo would never understand that creature.

-l-

" _Oh my- well I picked this up in the airport for the flight- no spoilers!"_

" _Oh I wouldn't dreeeeam of it darling- but did you get past the brothel scene?"_

" _Oh my goodness yes- my what a… scene that was."_

" _Oh I knooooooooow!"_

-l-

The journal was out of date. Bah. Fool. Mojo being the superior scientist took out the _latest_ journal- BioChemist Weekly- a fine publication.

Because he Mojo Jojo _always_ took pains to be the _most_ informed scientist in this city- he- Mojo Jojo- not John Utonium- he with _last_ week's issue: Not with the latest that was in Mojo's possession!

-l-

 _Flip._

-l-

" _ **CODE X- CODE X!"**_

-l-

 _Flip._

-l-

It could not have been as painful as his beloved but rather melodramatic honorary daughter in law persisted in claiming- last time this had occurred the nursing staff had been cowering under a sheet of ice and the time before an entire water cycle had occurred within these enclosed rooms- a blanket of snow had fallen over the birthing room: And all over his unfortunate eldest son.

-l-

" _ **ICE! WE GOT ICE!"**_

-l-

If this was such a painful process than why bother? Why bother at all- were not two little honorary granddaughters not enough?

Once again Mojo cast a look upon the smirking crab like potato saboteur.

This was that creature's fault.

If John Utonium wished to punish _anyone_ for the perceived pain of his melodramatic but adored daughter's who was also Mojo's beloved honorary daughter in law despite being his former worst enemy- whose screeches were growing slightly irksome- but she who had captured Mojo's eldest honorary son's heart and given Mojo his beloved (no longer vomit spewing) pink eyed honorary granddaughters- named after flowers and who no longer spat up on him although they did persist in mis identifying his species: But to make his point clear- it was not Brick Jojo who had put Blossom Utonium now Jojo in this mess John Utonium- it was the red crustacean like creature giggling like a little fool over some nonsense in that trite penny novel apparently both it and Sandra Keane now owned who should be blamed- not Mojo's innocent… perhaps arguably over eager at times eldest honorary son!

Crustacean! Not husband!

-l-

" _John- you know it all is forgotten as soon as we're all holding our little Ruff Puff."_

" _...I suppose you're right- I am looking forward to holding them."_

" _Exactly- just think of that dear."_

" _I know… at least this time we won't miss the grand… um event."_

" _Blossom understood dear- and this time you'll be one of the first to hold them… just remember that."_

-l-

What was this? What was this nonsense!? Him- not the crustacean- the _unchosen_ grandfather!? Holding _Mojo's_ newest honorary honorary grandchild

 **FIRST!?**

This was not to be borne! No he- Mojo Jojo- Mojo _papa_ as he had become known- and the pink eyed little flower garden's _FAVORITE_ grandfather esque figure- would not stand for this!

-l-

" _You are mistaken John Utonium! For it is I - Mojo Jojo who shall hold the newest Ruff Puff honorary grandchild of mine first before you- for it is me - Mojo Jojo who is the favorite honorary grandfather whereas you are the second favorite and thus-!"_

" _...I BEG your pardon!?"_

-l-

John Utonium stood slowly. How trite. Mojo quickly jumped on the chair and was soon at eye level with him anyway.

Sandra Keane had gone pale. The crustacean only giggled maniacally.

-l-

" _...oh no."_

" _Oh how delightful!"_

" _John your blood pressure!"_

" _Oh hush Sandi- let the old fools duke it out- it should be delightfully entertaining- remember Christmas?"_

" _...I… don't like to."_

-l-

Another incident completely the fault of this other man here and not Mojo Papa- No if this man would simply _admit defeat_ in a battle he could not win that Mojo Papa had won- because he was Mojo Papa and his little honorary granddaughters had chosen him- not John Utonium- who was merely _Grandpa_ whereas he Mojo Jojo had been awarded the much more loving and honorable title of _Mojo Papa_ \- and thus this made him- Mojo Jojo the favorite and not John Utonium.

Mojo had gotten that doll house fair and square- how dare John Utonium have tried to steal Mojo Papa's thunder by presenting the _same_ doll house at the _same_ time! His protests that it had been agreed that _he_ would be the one getting the house while _Mojo_ had " _agreed"_ he would take care of the Doll car and camper whatever newfangled accessories Mojo had never quite understood the need for but what his beloved little honorary granddaughters had wanted and thus he must provide them with everything they so desire as was his proper duty as most _beloved_ and _favorite_ grandfather figure-!

It was not to be borne! His little granddaughters visit from the portly man in red and white who was most judgemental in his judgement of innocent children upon receiving the many gifts and such - ruined! Ruined! All of his - Mojo Papa's - careful planning and such! Ruined! Those delighted squeals and numerous kisses upon both of their cheeks had been a front to disguise their acute disappointment at their ruined Christmas!

RUINED! RUINED!

And now this Christmas ruiner and second honorary grandfather was going to try to claim the honor of holding the next Ruff Puff honorary grandchild of Mojo's before he Mojo Jojo got to!?

NEVER!

-l-

" _Oh not again….John, Mojo pleeeeease!"_

" _Oh nonsense Sandi dear- this is too entertaining for words- popcorn darling?"_

" _... what? Where did you-? …. Oh never mind… yes please."_

-l-

' _ **CODE X- WE HAVE A CODE X!**_

-l-

 _Part IV:_

 _In which a Butterfly is caught up in Civilization's net_

-l-

Malls. It had to be… a mall.

Buttercup hated malls. She hated crowds. And she hated noise.

-l-

Auntie! Auntie! C'mon! C'mon!

Autie!

-l-

Okay not all kinds of noise.

-l-

God these kids- bundles of never ending energy- how does Brick do it…eh Butterfly?

-l-

Just some noise.

-l-

He's panting like a moron. Apparently the pink pups _really_ like the mall. And they _really_ didn't like listening when _in_ said mall.

-l-

Uncle Butch! C'mon! C'mon! You're too slow!

Slow! Slow!

-l-

She shouldn't laugh. She really shouldn't even smile- her sister wouldn't be laughing- she'd probably be scolding- having mastered the "mother" look ( she hoped) by now - the two pups surely wouldn't have been pulling at Daddy's hand like Rosie was pulling at "Uncle's Butch's"- and Lily wouldn't be trying to join in- in her clumsy way- shit- Rosie was right- this kid _really_ couldn't fly that long- she'd plopped down twice- and now she was snug and secure in Buttercup's grip and all but- hell maybe Bloss was… she didn't know- out of X' or something?

Would the twins have powers?

...Oh Good God Blossom was squeezing _two_ kids out of her right now...ow…

 _Note to self: Get sister a hot pad and chocolate upon return to Wolf Den and get Wolf Daddy a damn muzzle- THAT kind of muzzle- he was done_

Five years… _four_ kids- how was her sister still living!? Cause c'mon! Blossom Utonium - err Jojo- back in the old days no one- _no one_ ever would have given Blossom Ut-Jojo- to be one to become a mother to such a brood! Bets had always been on the blonde to be the "mommy"- but _Blossom!?_

It was… it was just weird!

And who knew _Brick_ of all people had wanted a family- a _big_ one apparently- Buttercup sure as hell didn't! Eyebrow-... Butch here sure hadn't.

But hey- big time lawyer- big house- big dog- big paycheck- guess he liked… everything to be...big?

...No wonder he'd fallen so hard for Bloss- she did have the biggest… err… never mind. No. Never mind. Really. Horrifying anecdotes from adorably innocent five year olds. Remember that. Remember. Don't picture. But remember.

The Redheads were happy in their domestic… bliss. And yeah. Marriage suited her- a lot. She was smiling bigger than she had in years- her eyes lit up in a way she'd never seen before when the girls had spread that huge homemade banner over her whale tummy and… even Wolf Daddy despite looking tired as all hell had been smiling and there'd been this… weird look in his eyes and…

It was heavy. It was _heavy_ on her neck. Goddamn it- it was stuck in her hair again too! And the tiny wolf pup was looking at her in that weird way again- the way too big eyes and cock of the head with that innocent little gaze that nonetheless was way too damn _astute_ for a two year old.

And it was a shiny. And Lily loved shinies- They'd learned the hard way not to flaunt the shinies near the youngest (at the time) wolf puppy last Christmas what with the pup having _tossed t_ hose chandeliers or whatever earrings outta the box and Eyebrow Stud had joined the frantic Wolf Daddy in his panicked search cause that was apparently the big christmas gift or whatever- Buttercup had been too busy laughing and he'd just flashed her that naughty smirk and-.

…. Never mind. Just… god damn it what was _wrong_ with her?!

Fucking… just...just forget it!

-l-

AUNTIEEEEE! C'MONNNNN!

-l-

Just… just forget it.

-l-

Buttercup had seen many things in her line of work. Many unpleasant (to most people) sights like washed mountain roads that meant a two day climb was in their future, over flowed rivers which meant white water rafting versus a leisurely cruise down a river… filled with caiman, anaconda, piranha ( which really weren't that dangerous…unless you were a bleeding fish) and… leeches.

… Okay so maybe leeches were worse than overcrowded people filled malls but it was a _close_ second! This place was… was maddening! Insane! Her grip on Lily's hand was like iron- and somehow the moron in front of her had enough brains to hoist the over excited older puppy on his broad- too big- very much too big(!) shoulders with the stupid (...genius) bribe of being the "lookout" on their quest.

… Wish she'd thought of that. Except… no no she didn't! Cause he was dumb! And loud! And God Buttercup fucking _hated_ these places!

Wall to wall people all threatening to revert to primal instincts all for the sake of… cheaply made clothing and fucking… ugh- another idiot bumped into her- and _again_ with the strange looks!?

What had no one ever seen _tattoos_ before!? Fucking hell- RUDE much!?

 _Another_ push and shove- and people too busy gabbing on their stupid phones and- and-!

-l-

I swear to God if one more person bumps into us I'm gonna scream.

Big sale at the department store.

Since when is _that_ an excuse!? OOF! I'M WALKING HERE! - OH YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT KIND OF SHI-TAKE MUSHROOM WITH MY NIECE RIGHT HERE WHY I OUGHTTA-! HEY! LEGGO! HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE YOU-YOU!

-l-

He ignored her. Of course he did. Because he was an ass. Rosie clung to his neck like a content little koala and his free hand had gone and latched itself around Buttercup's waist like some kind of-

-l-

Hands _off_ the merchandise!

Not til we get to the store Butterfly- we can't have Jungle Jane coming out in public- the wolf parents would be very displeased to see the pups in lock up.

Why you….you!

Auntie Butterfly why's your face all red?

Oh is it Rosie Posie? Well would you look at that- you're right-.

Shut up Jack-Ash

Oooh Auntie almost swooooore!

Jack Ash! Jack Ash!

No! Lily no talking like that!

Now you've done it Butterfly.

For the last fu- _fudging_ time Butch do- _not_ call me-!

FUDGE! I WANNA FUDGE! FUDGE! FUDGE!

-l-

… And now her brother in law's raccoon eyes suddenly made a _lot_ more sense. The two girls having sniffed out the _candy store_ or at least a hint of _sweets_ suddenly decided to unleash their _Rowdyruff_ genes and… aw hell-!

-l-

ROSIE! ROSIE JOJO! GET BACK HERE!

-l-

There went one.

-l-

Autie? Fudge? Fudge?

-l-

And the other was squirming in her arms while Uncle went chasing after the other one- a bright pink streak ( Brick really couldn't catch a break even the kid's light was _pink)_ \- and the dark green one shot out right after little Pink.

-l-

" _HEY WATCH IT ASSHOLE!"_

" _FUCK OFF AND GET OUTTA MY WAY FUCKER! BABY RUFF PUFF ON THE LOOSE!"_

-l-

Well. This should be interesting. Lily hiccupped slightly and wiped her eyes.

-l-

Autie fudge?

-l-

" _HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! FUCKING BRAT!"_

 _-_ l-

Buttercup tightened her grip on tiny Ruff Puff pup.

-l-

No Pup. Not right now.

But- Hungry!

We're just making a quick stop to pick something up for mommy and daddy and then we'll go get dinner okay?

-l-

" _Waaaaaaa! Uncle Butch- that lady- y-yelled at meeeeeeeee!"_

" _HEY! WHAT YOU DOIN' YELLIN' AT MY NIECE!?"_

" _TCH MAYBE BECAUSE THE LITTLE SHIT IS OUT OF CONTROL- ….Wait… you look familiar?"_

-l-

And… here came the crowd. And here came the rest of the troupe to protect their female.. Likely all competing for the right to mate with said female at some point. The jewels and fine clothes and curly hair…

Why'd she look so familiar?

-l-

" _LIKE OH MY GOD! GIVE UP BITCH!"_

" _OHYOU DID NOT JUST CALL MY SISTER A BITCH- PRIN-.!_

-l-

Oh Dear God no.

Shit. Fuck. Who the fuck let _her_ out!? … Money. Money would likely let someone out- aw hell.

Crap- she was _retired_ from this bull damn it! Shit…

Little Lily clutched her neck as she hurried over- Butch was still snarling like an angered gorilla clutching his young- err part of the troupe she meant and-.

Oh God it _was_ her. Fuck….

...Wolf Mommy wasn't gonna be happy about this. Play it cool. See she was so dumb she wasn't putting two and two together yet. So the red headed kids clinging to the broad shouldered dark haired uncle was perfectly normal! Yeah! So…

-l-

" _Who the heck let YOU out!"_

-l-

… Or he could be an idiot. Her eyes widened- and then the constant looking from little Rosie- whimpering and clutching uncle DUM DUM's neck then to Buttercup holding little Lily.

Both had pink eyes. Both had red hair. Rosie's hair being much deeper and auburn than Blossom's own pumpkin strands.

The woman's jaw dropped.

….Buttercup missed her rocks already. Even Lily covered her ears from the _screech_ that shattered everyone's ear drums in a ten mile radius.

-l-

" _OH MY GOD! ITS TRUE!" THEY DID GET MARRIED! I thought for SURE Julie was pulling my leg!"_

 _-l-_

How unfortunate that was only a metaphor. Lily whimpered and Rosie buried her face in Butch's neck. Both avoiding the sudden glittering look in the woman's eyes as she focused on both of them.

-l-

Uncle Butch… she scares me….

Autie - no like. No like.

-l-

" _Auntie? Uncle… Oh my God they… HAD KIDS!?"_

" _No shittake mushrooms Sherlock…."_

" _OH HOW CUTE! LOOK AT THOSE BIG EYES! THEY'RE ADORABLE! CAN I HOLD ONE!"_

-l-

More burying in neck. Lily whimpered. Buttercup scowled. Butch set Rosie down who promptly hid behind his leg.

-l-

Autie. Loud.

Uncle Butch… she's weird.

-l-

" _Awww don't be shy darlings- I'm an old friend of your Daddy's and Uncle Butch's."_

" _Define friend."_

" _Ohhh you're such a kidder Butch! You haven't changed a bit! Well… okay I won't say thaaaaaaat- I mean the years have certainly been good to YOU it seems."_

-l-

Lily whimpered again.

-l-

Autie. Tight. Owie.

-l-

Butch looked ill. Rosie scowled. And…Jesus did she look like Brick at that second. Her eyes were narrowed and she folded her arms and stuck her nose up in the air. ( yep this was Brick's pup alright)

-l-

My Uncle Butch is the bestest uncle ever and my _Auntie_ Butterfly is the bestest ever!

-l-

" _Oh… is he now? Why Butch I never knew you were so good with kids…."_

-l-

Autie. Tiiiight!

Um YEAH! My Uncle Butch is the Bestest and my _AUNTIE_ is the bestest - Gawd! Do you not listen! Mr. Green says that's really rude not to listen!

-l-

" _Uh… huh…. So what brings you here Butch? Hmm?"_

" _... Just… running an errand for my… brother."_

" _Ohhh what kind of errand?"_

-l-

That's none of your business - you're scaring my nieces- back off.

-l-

The woman blinked. Like a dumbass. She was never one of the… smarter females in the school was she- no never was. Ugh. She had a headache. She was not in the mood for this. And that look she was getting now- go ahead- make her day bitch!

The moron was giving her a weird look. The tolerable one not this annoying… shrew.

-l-

Yeah! You tell her Auntie!

Tell! Tell!

-l-

Princess of course didn't get the memo- she never could- no matter how many times she'd been beaten out by Blossom for oh well anything really she went out for election wise she was still under the impression she was better than them all.

And her grip was slimy as ever she saw. Butch's arm was in that cat grip and well…no. Not in the mood.

-l-

" _Oh but Butch and I were just getting reacquainted it's just been soooo long you know there's a lovely little coffee shop in the food court-."_

" _I told ya I've got ERRANDS!"_

" _Oh well can't the Puffy Auntie handle it by herself- these little darlings couldn't possibly be that much of a handful I'm sure their….mother has them trained quite well. She always was… finicky."_

-l-

My nieces ain't animals to be _trained_ one- and two _I'm_ not carrying the bassa- whatever it is-.

Bassinet Auntie Butterfly!

Bassa- Bassa-Bass-bet!

-l-

" _Good God they're having ANOTHER one!?"_

" _...Yeah?"_

-l-

We're gonna have a new baby brother or sister!

Baby! Baby!

-l-

Again… Buttercup didn't like that sudden hysterical... laughing so much… the woman looked like she was going to keel over and she did NOT want to have to give this odious woman… mouth to mouth. No thanks.

-l-

" _Oh my God this is rich- so the rumors ARE true- oh wait until I tell Julie- this is hilarious- oh how the mighty have FALLEN! Blossom Utonium- the almighty Powerpuff - I'm better than you' commander and Leader really IS nothing but a HOUSEWIFE! HA! Oh this is rich!"_

" _What's that supposed to mean!?"_

-l-

MY SISTER IS NOT A HOUSEWIFE YA STUPID BI-BIRCH TREE-!

YEAH! BIRTH TREE!

BICH BICH

NO! LILY DON'T SAY THAT WORD!

Bich?

No sweetie we don't say that word!

Autie say word?

Uh… Uh I'm uh… I'm much taller than you! Yeah you must be- uh this tall to say that word okay?

Kay Kay- She bich

Lily it's _bitch_ not "bich"

"ROSE CATHERINE JOJO!

What? Daddy says it to the TV all the time when the Picklers lose- just because I'm not supposed to say it doesn't mean I don't _know_ it. Gawd Auntie Butterfly.

-l-

Oh dear God this kid was a hundred percent Brick's but oh that look didn't bode well. Okay- so technically it was _Buttercup's_ sister who just got insulted so why was _Butch_ the one who looked ready to go rabid gorilla on the bitch!?

Seriously he was breathing hard and his shoulders were stiff and tense and like any angered silverback he was suddenly standing at his full height- all...six… glorious four… and no. Bad. Bad thoughts!

It was heavy on her neck. She pulled the cord listlessly.

-l-

" _And so WHAT - she's an amazing mother and hell of a good wife to my bro who needed someone to smarten him up! Hell lets face it she's probably TOO good for him!"_

-l-

Very true… but… again why was this coming from _him_ and not uh...her? The actual sister of the affronted party- the uh… you know- one who should be uh…

Had he always had biceps that big or were those new…?

Wait. DAMN IT! Not again!

Ugh- stupid thing! Now it was tangled in her hair!

-l-

" _I wasn't saying anything baaaaaad- I'm just saying it's funny is all! She was always going around saying "I'm going to save the world. Look at me I'm going to be a hero AND a famous author - la la la- and now look: She's a cute little housewife while hubby brings home the bacon. It's funny how life works is all Butch- I meant nothing baaaad- your nieces are ADORABLE-."_

" _Bull shit you meant nothin' "bad"- the look on your face says otherwise! Not that its any of your business but Bloss ain't a "cute little housewife" - she's on MATERNITY LEAVE you stupid-!_

" _Oh now really there's no need to be-!"_

" _And even if she WAS- what's wrong with that! Like I said she's a damn good Mom and wife who loves her family more than anything! what right you got to judge her- None that's what! She and Brick got a good thing going on-! Kids, a nice house, a dog - what else they need!?"_

-l-

And… now people were staring. Okay. Point made. Time to go.

Stupid cord! One of these days she was just gonna snap it!

-l-

" _Look! It was just a joke! No need to get yourself all pissy- its FUNNY! She was all about this big career and now look- no way does she work as much as Bricky does- no way- he's some big time lawyer or something right!"_

" _Don't call my brother no nicknames! And so WHAT! You still didn't answer my question- cause ya can't and I ain't just gonna stand here and listen to my bro and sister in law get insulted in front of their damn kids! So my sis in law stays with the kids and works from home- thats what a home office is for- there are plenty of people who do it in America nowadays-and hey news flash BITCH my bro does too! Cause Family's important to em' - Family, Love and shit! Hey if my wife was out I dunno off doin' some big career shit or something she loved and asked me to stay home and be with Butch Jr. or whatever while she did it I'd do it!_

" _Oh yeaaaah- and I'm sure you'd just wear a cute little apron and take care of the baby while-."_

-l-

Those eyes latched on her. Oh God.

Her grip tightened.

-l-

Auntie? Auntie you okay?

Autie?

-l-

Stop looking. Stop looking at her.

-l-

" _Yeah. Yeah I would. Cause that's what families DO! Ain't nothin' wrong with that! If my wife wants me to be a house husband I will...My Butterfly asks me to- I WILL!"_

-l-

 _Silence_

 _Snap_

-l-

It was like slow motion. Fucking _slow motion_ \- she watched it fall. Down. Down. Before it hit the ground with an ominous _clink_ \- that sounded more like a gong. One of those huge gongs calling the monks to prayer and…

The empty cord lay listless in her hands. The Pink Pups watched with wide eyes.

He only stared at the ring. That _wedding_ ring lying on the ground.

His expression was completely unreadable.

-l-

Autie- ring?

-l-

 _Silence._

-l-

He picked it up.

The agog woman looked between him and...her… over and over...and oh FUCK!

-l-

" _oh… oh I see. Um… well this is….uh…. lovely to see you again Butch but I really must be going- Ta! Give my congratulations to Bricky for me!"_

-l-

EW! Don't call my Daddy nicknames weirdo! Gross!

Gross! Gross!

…. Auntie are you _okay?_ Uh oh- Uncle Butch I think Auntie's sick!

-l-

Put it down. Put the damn thing down. Stop looking at it. Stop looking at her! STOP LOOKING AT HER!

Lily began to fuss- aw hell- Ruff Puff with shiny addiction - bad! Very bad!

-l-

Oooh- pwitty! pwitty ring! Me see! Me see!

-l-

Rosie frowned and peeped at it- her uncle was still wretchedly silent.

-l-

Huh… Hey Uncle Butch- you got one of those too. Don't ya?

-l-

 _Silence_

-l-

… _.no._

-l-

The pink Ruff Puff took her uncle's limp hand and peeled that stupid biking glove or whatever he always wore and-

 _...No… no fucking… he….he wouldn't… dare!_

-l-

" _The fuck are you doing here!?_

" _What? A guy can't come visit his favorite butterfly in her jungle?"_

" _...But… But…. you were… I… WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"_

" _Well I've always wanted to visit South America so-..."_

" _Butch. What. are. you. Doing. In. My. Tent. In. South. America. At. 3. in. the. fucking. MORNING!?"_

 _Plop_

" _What do you think?"_

 _She stared._

" _Well Buttercup… why do you think I'm here?"_

" _... To… To-."_

" _To see you-."_

" _To marry me."_

 _Silence._

 _Two shades of green eyes just... stared at the other._

" _...Fuck then… I do."_

-l-

Auntie? Auntie? Auntie you're scaring me- Auntie?!

Autie?

-l-

She was a fucking coward. Fuck if she didn't know it- fuck if she cared about the spectacle or whatever when the green Powerpuff Girl bolted out of that stupid trap at full speed and just… just… FUCK!

-l-

" _They're gonna fucking kill us."_

" _I know ain't it great- no froo froo shit for us- nope."_

" _Bubs is gonna have a cow."_

" _Not as much as Brick. Ha. I totally one upped him on this one- so he went running around like four different apartment buildings- I went COUNTRY HOPPING. HA! Victory for Butch."_

" _You're fucking crazy."_

" _Not as much as you baby."_

-l-

She grabbed the spare key from the roof and dashed inside- grabbed her bag and started shoving shit in it. Whatever- Wolf Pups were safe with their Uncle and fuck it she'd just tell Bloss and Brick some emergency or whatever had popped up- they'd understand- the blondes were still gone whereever the were- she'd be _long_ gone by the time that angry phone call came blistering in her ears and fuck reception sucked anyway!

The dumb dog kept looking at her funny- fucking judgemental beast! Skit! Scoot! Away with ya! More judging - _ugh_ this dog was disturbingly like her sister- the expression- withering and just… uggggh!

Son of a _bitch!_ How the fuck could he have- Why the fuck had he-!?

-l-

" _How about this one?"_

" _That's a dress."_

" _Yeah?"_

" _I don't wear dresses."_

" _Aw c'mon Butterfly- it's perfect- see look."_

 _Butterflies and other prints swirled around the skirt. It was flouncy and tight at the same time- and aw fuck. She loved it. Fuck. It was starting already._

" _Fine whatever- now what you doin'?"_

" _Buyin' it."_

" _Did you even change your money fore you came flyin' in my camp at 3 in the morning?"_

" _...Nah but I got credit. Seeeeeeeee."_

" _You're an idiot."_

" _But I'm youuuuuur idiot."_

" _... yeah…. yeah you are."_

-l-

That fucking dress was in her duffel bag. It was fucking girly and fucking stupid.

She couldn't get rid of the damn thing. It was in her fucking backpack in the fucking Wolf's Den for God's sake.

Fucking…. Fucking dress. And fucking… ring and fucking… fucking everything!

She threw it at the dog's head. Just to stop that judgemental stare that _seriously_ were it pink would be like the Wolf Mama or whatever was looking at her and…

She didn't belong here, She never did! Never had!

Maybe _Blossom_ could just drop all her plans and dreams and become a cute little-...

...That wasn't fair. Fucking hell what was _WRONG_ with her!?

-l-

" _You're an idiot."_

" _Yep."_

" _Stop smiling so damn much."_

" _Nope."_

" _Moron."_

" _Til death do us part Butterfly- you're stuck with me."_

" _Yeah, yeah whatever- move over you're taking the blanket."_

" _Cold? Lemme warm ya up then."_

" _We are not traumatizing my poor grad students than they already are."_

" _Heh yeah we were pretty wild eh?"_

" _Shut the fuck up and go to sleep."_

" _Okay-oka- night Wifey."_

" _... Night moron husband."_

-l-

She screeched and threw the bag down.

She didn't belong here.

There was _nothing_ for her here! Her life, Her career- she couldn't be a fucking _w-w-wife!_

She wasn't maternal in the slightest, she wasn't a loving happy wifey who was content to kiss her hubby goodbye every morning while he brought their pup to school on the way in- of course not! Did Buttercup _look_ like… like…

-l-

" _How long you plannin' on stayin' here?"_

" _...Yeah I didn't think that through. Uhh… how long you planning? We can just go back together I guess…?"_

" _...Excuse me?"_

-l-

Look at this shit! Look at this place! Fucking white sheets on the furniture!? There was a five and two year old in this house- let alone a fucking _wolf_ wandering around! Was her sister crazy!?

She was the model wife and mother. She was _perfect_.

Always… Always had been. And she deserved this kind of life! Of course she did! Fuck Buttercup had gone and called her out for almost walking away from it! Listening to an almost _begging_ Rowdyruff Boy on the phone for almost ten minutes- willing to shed all his stupid male pride so his "cherry blossom" would be happy again!?

Who the fuck in their right mind gave up a man like that?! Of course Buttercup had come back to knock some sense into her dumb ass perfect sister who…

She _wanted_ this life! She wanted the illusion of perfection! She'd always been a goody two shoes! Just… that _wasn't_ Buttercup!

And that… that _asshole_ had the nerve to think she was just gonna… gonna give up her… her life for a fucking piece of metal that-.

Oh God… OH GOD NO! Had she!? No she'd left it there! How could she leave it there?!

Her face crumbled- she felt it fall and she fell back on that aritificially white couch covered in glitter and stickers and fuck… just…

just... FUCK!

-l-

" _What the fuck is your problem!?"_

" _My problem!? MINE!? I never fucking asked you to come here and try to pull some… some-!"_

" _Excuse me for being in love-!"_

" _That's not my problem is it asshole!"_

" _...What….?"_

-l-

She'd fucking left it there. She'd left it there. Fuck. Fine. Just… just f-fine.

She'd leave the dress here too. Let Rosie have it for dress up or...or something. That's what kids did. Played dress up. And she'd been like a kid again. Just played dress up, let the local village women doll her up and laughed as he'd been prepped by the guys- her team had been all...dumb and insisted on filming the shit and somewhere there was a video- concrete evidence Buttercup J-... Utonium had worn a dress.

It belonged on America's funniest home videos. She'd looked like a fucking fool- he'd been a fucking idiot- spinning her around all night in a lame attempt at dancing and…

She hadn't laughed that hard in...years and…, fuck.

-l-

" _Slow down you idiot!"_

" _Aw why Butterfly? Can't keep up with me?"_

" _Tch- okay you asked for it Stud. Try this on for size eh!"_

-l-

" _You… You want me to what!?"_

" _You know this was a mistake."_

" _MISTAKE!? Like hell it was-!"_

" _Just sign it Butch!"_

" _... No. You're fucking drunk. How much you had to drink!? You're not making me sign this- not until we're both I dunno sober enough to-!"_

" _JUST SIGN IT BUTCH!"_

" _NO!"_

-l-

It would have been hell. They both knew it. She'd been the practical one! Always had to be! The fucking Rowdyruffs as a unit were fucking impuslive as fuck- running around Townsville drunk as a mule just asking " Where Blossom lived!?" - fuck how the hell had her brother in law not been _arrested_ looking back on it- who the fuck had told an obviously drunk Rowdyruff Boy runing around in a ruined tux and some kind of wedding bouquet wilted and shit where her sister had lived!?

What was wrong with people!? People were dumb! Nothing here made sense!

Nothing!

Jungles were… they made sense! Laws of nature! Laws of fucking survival of the fittest even!

-l-

" _Dr. Utonium? Dr?"_

" _ugggh what- what do you want?"_

" _Just uh… seeing how you are ma'am-last night must have been pretty crazy…?"_

" _...the fuck are you talking about?"_

" _Well… I mean that guy wouldn't leave you alone and me having to pull him off you - not that it was hard for me! I mean I'm a pretty buff guy myself of course but- uh if you need someone to talk to-."_

" _...Where the fuck is Butch?"_

" _Cooling off in jail or something- I dunno the bartender called the cops- I mean I'm fine he threw a table at me but-."_

" _J-JAIL!? Why is he!? WHAT DID YOU DO!?"_

" _Me!? He was the crazy one who wouldn't leave you alone Doctor! I was just helping-."_

" _YOU THREW MY HUSBAND IN JAIL YOU SNIVELING LITTLE SHIT!"_

" _H-Husband? What? What do you mean!? You weren't married when I left last week!? D-Doctor- wait where are you-!?"_

" _Where the fuck you piece of shit- I'm going to go bail the moron out and when we're back I want you OFF my dig is that understood- you think I'm some kind of idiot I see the way you look at me bucko- like some kind of slobbering puppy and not in in the endearing way like my stupid brother in law looks at my sister- now get the fuck out of here before I MAKE YOU!"_

" _Doctor… Buttercup I mean you- I didn't know-"_

" _GET. OUT!"_

-l-

She wasn't wife material. It was drunken idiocy stemmed from shock the moron had… pulled that kind of move and…

What was she supposed to do!? Give up her entire life and everything she loved for… for…

The mantel was covered in pictures- staged- _perfect_ \- the ideal family life. Happy husband and wife- adorable children- even the dog looked like it was fucking _smiling_ as they all posed on the blanket in perfect redheaded matching bliss- even White Fang here had been sporting a red bow around her neck as little Rosie clung to her and her sister had held baby Lily and Wolf Daddy Brick had his arms around all three of his girls - it'd been a mother's day gift or something a few years ago- Sandi and the Lobster Mama had cried. Bubbles had gushed to the point Buttercup had conveniently lost reception to save her eardrums.

Did...Did Buttercup _look_ like the type of chick to pose for those kind of photos?! Her….her wedding...thing had been in the middle of a goddamn block party basically- total strangers or whatever had attended - and he'd danced like a fucking idiot and she'd been a fucking idiot and-

There was no big elaborate ceremony! Her dress had been loose and sensible- unlike the slinky but immovable masterpiece Blossom had been more or less _sewn_ into or the floofy poofy fairy tale dress Bubs had worn or even that guady tasteless _monstrosity_ that her poor sister had almost had to wear when she'd still been engaged to the douche!

And the smiles on her sister and Brick's faces in that picture- that picture barely able to have been taken before eager beaver red Rowdyruff had gone and swooped his bride _outta_ there.

And left Buttercup holding that stupid… fucking bouquet the moron had just gone and stolen and presented to her like a fucking…

-l-

" _Oh my God I hate weddings. I hate them. So much."_

" _You were cryin' like a baby don't deny it."_

" _Aw shut up eyebrow stud."_

" _Aww baby you have a nickname for me I'm touched."_

" _Shut up. I'm drunk. And I'm tired. And I have to figure out a way of flushing flowers down the toilet without clogging the hotel pipes."_

" _Shit that is a challenge."_

" _You're an ass- how are you still conscious."_

" _Brick's the lightweight of the family. Me and Boom can outdrink him into next week."_

" _Oh. Cute. Whatever- whoaaa!"_

" _Whoa there sweetie- easy does it- are Puffs lightweight in general I mean Bloss can get pretty wasted I've noticed-."_

" _Aww fuck off- I ain't drunk- I'm buzzed and I'm in these fucking death trap heels cause Bubs used the evil eyes on me. I rock the suit but I'm still stuck in heels- fucking hell."_

" _You rock em."_

" _Duh. You know what- you're an idiot- carry me I'm tired as fuck and I know you wanna see me naked so fuck it- just carry me and lets go."_

" _Uhhh…. I'll carry you in sure but you and me gotta have our quarter date first."_

" _You fuckin' kidding me. You want to fuck me. It's obvious. I want to see what you can do with the tongue stud there- lets go - what's the problem."_

" _You claim you're buzzed- I call bull- you're drunk."_

" _I ain't drunksh!"_

" _Yeah you are. I'm not gonna be a dumb ass like Brick and fuck my chance up by being drunk- Pick you up Saturday at seven- right now. Bed."_

" _Gimme a break Butch- c'mon don't you wanna-!"_

" _Yeah. That's why you're going to-. Bed."_

" _Yeah with you."_

" _No. Not with me. I ain't fuckin' up."_

" _Ugggh fine! Lame. You just fucked up your one shot you know- soon as those fifteen minutes are up I'm out."_

" _Yeah don't I know it Buttercup- why I gotta make em' all count."_

" _Dumb ass."_

" _Goodnight."_

" _... Night moronic counterpart."_

-l-

" _You what!?"_

" _Shut up. No really I can't. My head."_

" _How did you manage to get that-!?"_

" _Your sickening PDA sessions everywhere with hubby drove me to it - stop laughing! It's gross."_

" _But he wouldn't stay eh?"_

" _No. He was a dumb ass."_

" _Sounds to me like someone might like you-."_

" _Nuh uh! Freeze and rewind sister dear- just cause you're in your honeymoon everything's kittens rainbows and sex mind set don't mean everyone else is!"_

" _I love you too Buttercup."_

" _Ugh- yeah yeah- so where's the moron I'm shocked he let you out of bed let alone taking a phone call from your favorite sister."_

" _He stepped out for a bit- had to take a phone call himself."_

" _Oh well thats ominous."_

" _Family."_

" _Oh. Well okay cause remember I have a rock hammer and I'm not afraid to use it-."_

" _Yes I know Buttercup- he knows this as well you made that quite clear at the engagement party."_

" _Just laying down the law."_

" _And its always appreciated."_

" _Damn right."_

" _So…. are you?"_

" _Am I what?"_

" _Are you going to go out with Butch?"_

" _... Don't see why I should- he's a moron."_

" _Oh c'mon sis. I saw you looking at him- don't deny it."_

" _... you know how I am about piercings."_

" _But of course."_

" _You planned this one purpose you little traitor."_

" _I owed you one."_

" _How is this to my benefit!?"_

" _I don't know. You'll have to see."_

" _... I thought I had called the redhead- it seems I've connected with the blonde however."_

" _Oh but Buttercup it will be fun! You and him had a fine time at the restauraunt that one time-."_

" _You mean the one you ditched me at so you and Wolf Boy could have sex on your coffee table-."_

" _BUTTERCUP! We did no such-and Artemis is a dog!"_

" _Oh right- it would have broken - how reinforced IS that bed of yours sister dear-?"_

" _Alright! Okay- enough. The point is- you should give him a chance. And it's what… a quarter date right? Thats fifteen minutes. Big deal."_

" _The worst fifteen minutes of my LIFE!"_

" _You might be surprised…."_

" _Ugh… you're not gonna let this go are you Wolf Woman?"_

" _...For the last time Artemis is a dog. and nope- in fact I'm going to insist on it- as a personal favor to ME you go on this quarter date- if its a total disaster I get Bubbles to back off on you for that shopping trip she is insisting on- deal?"_

" _... You owe me… so much."_

" _I know."_

" _Fine."_

" _Good sister- Oh! Hi honey! - Sorry Buttercup gotta go- we have reservations for dinner which is all the dratted man will tell me- ugh- what's wrong with my outfit? - What's wrong with heels? - What do you mean they might get wet? Brick where are we going? - For the love of- fine i'll get changed- again!"_

-l-

The sunset cruise had definitely been the highlight of that trip- it being one of the few "pre wolf pups" pictures on display.

…I'td been the best…. quarter date she'd ever been on- though she was still convinced he'd fucked with her watch.

Her neck felt heavy. So fucking heavy.

She had to get out of here. She had to. This place… this place _did_ shit to people!

She wasn't going to be caught in this net! She wasn't! God damn it! NO! just… just…

They all looked at her- that perfect- picture perfect little family in their perfection and-... that...was new.

It was one of those new… digital frames or whatever- she hadn't noticed it before- they were pretty swanky- pictures _and_ video sans the sound but- that… was the most undignified she had ever seen of her sister.

No really. That was ridiculous- she was _covered_ in…mud. And Rosie was laughing and the camera was shaking so it must have been Brick on the other side of it but what were they doing on a farm?

She grabbed the frame and looked at it- there were random buttons but aha- there we go!

Skim. Skim. _Holly's Berry Farm and Amusements_ \- oh right that was that little amusement park and petting zoo place- Bloss had… mentioned they were taking the girls there. Big surprise for Rosie - she apparently wanted to be a vet that year.

But still… Blossom… covered in mud? Oh… there was Brick… he looked worse. Nice. Very nice. He was covered in mud alright- - the next picture was an explanation - the idiot was preening like he was so big and bad in front of the…. goats. One more picture and now big bad Rowdy was also being tackled by a… goat? That was a goat. Buttercup could have told him don't fuck with the goats. And there was Blossom rushing in to save her moron of a husband from the pissed off goat.

And now all four were in the shot- covered in mud as a family. Blossom and Brick's smiles were clearly sheepish but Rosie and Lily were absolutely delighted.

Clearly…. that little outing hadn't gone… according to plan. Her gaze drifted to the careful perfection that surrounded her on the mantel.

And then… back to the mud splattered Wolf Pack. For all the ruin of her hair and clothes- that sheepish smile was still illuminated with bright pink eyes glittering as she held onto her even more drenched husband's waist- their eyes locked on their….pups clearly having a ball.

They looked… so happy.

She was a creep but if it was on display fuck it- the bag slipped to the ground and she skimmed through more and more photos- each more chaotic than the last- the pups being chased with a hose- her sister sporting paint covered clothes (!) and holding a giggling three year old in what she recognized as Lily's room.

Holidays- the living room was a complete and total mess- this was Christmas morning- not the immaculate Christmas celebration she'd seen- no this was paper everywhere and raccoon eyed redheads sitting on the couch watching the pups tear the room apart- Halloween came and went- her brother in law was fast asleep in a mound of candy at the kitchen table- obviously they'd had one hell of a long route if it was enough to wipe out a Rowdyruff Boy….

Summers running through the sprinklers. Spring jumping through puddles- smiles...after smiles…

Nothing was…

She cast another look at the showpiece of the mantel…and then back at… the mud-splattered…

Family.

She didn't even realize her hand was shaking until the dumb mutt's nose bumped it- and scooted under her arm to rest that lug of a head on her lap with a little _whine_ \- almost like- _told you_.

Stupid…

 _Stupid…_

Her head went in her hands.

She was just so… _stupid!_

Stupid! Stupid! STUPID-1

-l-

 _Click_

-l-

The pups came skipping in- ice cream cones in their hands.

-l-

Auntie?

Autie ok?

-l-

The two girls hurried over to her- Rosie frowned. Lily's lip began to tremble.

-l-

Autie cry!?

Auntie… why are you-?

-l-

Now she had _three_ annoying wolves clinging to her- and she was so stupid she just clung to all three and fuck she was a moron. Fuck. Fuck. Why was she so… so _stupid!_

-l-

No cry! No cry Autie!

Do you miss the jungle Auntie? Do…Do you wanna go home…?

No leave! No leave!

We'll be good I swear! No more running off or nothin! Just don't go yet Auntie we never see you-!

See!

We…we miss you. Mommy misses you too and daddy and Auntie BB and Uncle Boom and Grandpa and Nana and Lobster Nana and Grandpa Mojo and – and- !

Uncle Butch too…

-l-

She clung tighter. Stupid. Stupid.

-l-

Girls… can you give Auntie and me a minute.

-l-

She stiffened- but nonetheless her little barrier nieces hopped off obediently and scuttled into the kitchen and-.

…. He still remembered… her nasty ass favorite flavor.

-l-

You must have… cringed when they scooped this up.

Tch… seein' as I've eaten bugs now and lived nothin' fazes me now.

You… were ready to hurl after that.

Scuse' me for preferrin' my food not keep crawlin' down my throat.

…Ew.

Ew is right- now eat your ice cream woman.

-l-

She took a scoop- he ate his own Mint Chocolate chip in silence.

Stupid… Stupid…

-l-

Kids… had a good point. We don't know how big the kid is so… if we get the wrong size…

Yeah… yeah you'd think he'd have thought of that.

Brick tends to panic when it comes to his kids.

I noticed.

Yeah.

…. Butch about-.

Don't.

I owe you an-!

Eat your ice cream butterfly.

But-.

Eat it!

…No. You- we're adults we… we have to-.

No. No the only thing we have to do is eat our damn ice creams at the moment.

You don't want…

-l-

He chomped down on the green goop and she flinched- that… would be hell of a brain freeze and now he had green slime curling down his chin. Dripping dangerously close to Wolf Mama's beloved furniture.

-l-

Why'd you keep it?

-l-

She froze. The maple dripped down her chin and splotched the white couch. Fuck…

-l-

It didn't mean anything to you so why the fuck did you keep it!

I never said that.

You said enough that night.

I was DRUNK!

And I know that too! So was I! We both were- it was a fucking disaster from start to finish- a dumb impulsive fucking- here I am giving Wolf Daddy shit for his rainy marathon run and here I did it too! Except mine was dumber- mine was international. I was stupid. Even stupider than him….

…You weren't stupid.

…Yes I am.

No… I… I'm the stupid…

-l-

He stiffened this time.

-l-

You? You stupid? You have a PHD and a doctorate in volcanology- you're becoming a top mind in the fucking academic circles the world over – the only reason you're not more well known is cause you turn down all the snooty conference requests and shit- insisting you're gonna stay in the field where ya belong! You. You _stupid_? Tch. Now _that_ is the _stupidest_ thing I've ever fucking heard!

-l-

She flinched. He cleared his throat.

-l-

Sorry. Just… don't call yourself stupid Butterfly… it… it'll piss me off.

….Why?

Because it just does okay! God damn it woman do you need a reason for everything!?

Why did _you_ keep yours then!?

-l-

Silence

-l-

… I dunno.

Well good. Guess that makes two of us. Cause I'm _stupid_ – stupid- stupid-!

-l-

His grip was firm. His eyes were crazed. Wide and dark- that minty goop was smeared all over his mouth… his lips.

-l-

Call yourself that again and so help me Butterfly-.

-l-

His voice was raw. Husky.

She bit her lip. Her eyes burned. She took a deep breath and glared at him through watery eyes.

-l-

I'm… _stup-._

 _-_ l-

Mint and maple were a nasty combination- gross and most people would cringe and gag at the thought but not her- no… never her.

It… worked for her.

Always had.

…A-Always… would.

-l-

You… you got rid of your…tongue piercing?

Had to…. wolf parents didn't want the pink brats getting any ideas.

God… God they're fucking boring sometimes…

Don't I know it… good thing the kids got us to keep shit interestin'

Y-Yeah… yeah I guess so-.

-l-

She'd… pay for the couch cleaning later. Ice cream stains weren't too hard to get out… she'd… take care of it… later.

Yeah… later.

Much… later.

-l-

 _Giggles_

-l-

Except audience.

Right. They had a G rated audience.

She smacked his shoulder and he looked up and then groaned.

-l-

Brats…

You love em'

Yeah yeah- okay – get your giggling little butts in here brats!

-l-

Two pinks lights and they both were beaming- Rosie especially looked delighted. Grinning ear to ear. Lily kept giggling.

Aw fuck- _real_ G rated audience here. She sat up and he cleared his throat.

-l-

Right…so…. uh… who wants a movie eh kiddies! Hey how's about a PG one too- live life dangerously eh!

-l-

The cheers resounded- the pups jumped on the couch – right smack between them… probably… probably a good thing because…

She blinked- the kids were still yapping but…

She sighed. Now she was tired- watching over these crazy kids was… exhausting no wonder the Wolf parents always looked tired and now there'd be two _more_ – fucking- shit maybe _they_ deserved the vacation next.

Though knowing her brother in law and her sister's… fecundity they'd come home with a _fifth_ in the oven and Blossom would probably throw in the towel and refuse him in her bed… _ever_ again.

Unless Brick agreed to the snip snip. Then they'd be good.

Yeah… just… all good.

-l-

Three "forbidden" PG movies later – one of which was actually a PG-13 because there was only so much Buttercup and Butch could stand when it came to flicks- she was a story snob- sue her.

But now the pups had curled in both their laps- it being almost eight – it was probably their bed times soon- had the Wolf Daddy given a time? Not that Buttercup could remember- well- the couch was plenty comfortable and they were _out_. No moving them.

Stud over here kept messing with her hair. Fingers tangling in it and shit- and she was almost out herself. She had an early bedtime- there wasn't much to do with the whole jungle being a death trap in the night shebang.

He laughed at her when she yawned. Jack ass.

-l-

Tired?

Shut up. I ain't used to staying up past the sun going down half the time.

Not much to do?

Well seeing as every time you leave the tent to take a piss or something you're putting your life in your hands in case you run into a hungry jaguar or step on a pissy centipede or-.

Okay… Okay I get it Butterfly. Fuck… what a life you live… makes here just seem so… boring.

-l-

Rosie mumbled a bit and Buttercup smoothed her hair slightly.

-l-

At times yeah… this place… civilization is… sucky yeah but… there are some things that…I dunno… some things make it okay.

-l-

He smiled at her again- the icky smile which made her feel gooey inside. Jack ass.

-l-

Think the new pups are here yet?

It's been almost… shit when'd they go in…?

Noonish right?

My plane got in late so…yeah I guess.

That woman is officially superwoman. Four kids- fuck man. How do you do it?

-l-

Her eyebrow rose. He cleared his throat.

-l-

Uh you know in general I mean… not _you_ I meant… girls… women I mean-.

We squeeze mini people out of us after cooking em' for nine months- the end .Not too difficult.

-l-

He snorted. She grinned.

-l-

Yeah guess that's a way of putting it...yeah.

Yep.

… Well I guess… you're gonna stay here for the twins being born and then you dn't have to stay the uh… two weeks you were gonna-.

… I could use a few weeks off the dig. Clear my head and… see the kids.

They love you. They're always goin' on and on about their cool auntie at school- Bloss and Brick get a kick out of it- I think Bubs is a little jealous sometimes.

-l-

Her lip curled and her head rested on his shoulder.

-l-

Damn straight she is. I'm the best aunt in the pack. School Auntie got nothing on Jungle Auntie.

Damn straight. Just like Coppa Uncle don't got nothin' on Bad ass Uncle.

We're the best ever.

Absa-fucking-lutely.

-l-

More silence. Her hand was suddenly swallowed by a gorilla paw- he wouldn't look at her. She snorted somewhat.

-l-

What… no problem makin' out like a bunch of randy teens on the Wolf Momma's couch but afraid to hold my hand there stud?

-l-

He was still silent. His grip tightened.

-l-

…I missed you… you know

-l-

 _Badum. Badum._

-l-

I didn't wanna. I was so… so fucking angry. I was pissed and… I wanted to… just let ya go but… I couldn't. And it pissed me off more. I hated this fucking… thing.

-l-

The ring was still on his hand. She flushed.

-l-

I hated fucking looking at it… but I couldn't… make myself get rid of it… I tried… but-.

-l-

 _Badum. Badum. Badum._

-l-

For what its worth… Butterfly… Buttercup… I mean… I… I meant it… back then… back there. I'd… _never_ make you… or even ask you to give up… you know… because fuck I sure as hell wouldn't! Adventure! Excitement! Every day is something new- it's just-!

...I know you wouldn't. I…I knew back then too.

-l-

His grip grew harder. She bit her lip.

-l-

…I should have- I wanted to- I went all the way to the river and was about to throw it right on in but instead I just wove myself a stupid cord and wore it around my neck like a dummy. I couldn't… make myself throw the… the _thing_ out and I hated it- I hated it… I hated you so fucking much but I missed you too and- I was… scared.

-l-

Silence

-l-

…scared?

… Yeah.

Of…me?

… Of what… you meant. Or… what I thought… you meant.

-l-

Her gaze drifted to the pups, and the mantel and his eyes widened. More of a flush.

-l-

O…Oh.

Yeah.

W-Well… I mean… I… wouldn't… _mind_ a… mini green eyed devil someday but… but… I wouldn't ya know…

I know that…I knew that… just… I dunno I was… scared shitless all the same cause…

…because…

…. Part of me wanted it.

-l-

Silence. More and more aching silence. He released her but cupped her cheek instead.

-l-

….Buttercup…

Butch… I… I'm not… I wasn't… and I'm still not… _this_ kind of material. I never have been- I mean Bloss really _is_ superwoman. Wife, mom, career woman… just… shit I can't compete with that I just…I just know _rocks_ Stud… I don't know any of this… this…

I never wanted you to…

You say that-.

No… I mean it. You… Look Butterfly… you wouldn't be… _you_ if you didn't have… your rocks. No one wants you to… give them up- least of all me. Do I worry about ya still? Yeah. That minor eruption a few months ago… yeah I'll admit I was… a little _too_ glued to my television at work… instead of watching the client with the barbell but-.

… It wasn't that bad… it was… minor not even a-.

Point is I knew you were up there and… yeah I worry like a sap.

How… did Bloss tell you?

… Nah…I just… knew I guess. I kind of always do.

-l-

She frowned but he shook his head.

-l-

Don't read that as anything though- cause the truth is you're the most kick ass woman I've ever known- I'm nothin' to ya- I just have my… clients and savin' up for my own gym you know.

Your own gym huh… how's that goin…

Well… its uh… yeah its okay- funding is a bit tight still but I'll manage. I don't want… you know to ask my brother or Bloss or the blondes for help you know.

…I can understand that. You'll get there… I know it.

Yeah… _Green Jungles_ will uh… open up in no time.

… That's the name?

… Yeah. It just… worked you know.

-l-

His thumb grazed under her eye.

-l-

Yeah… I guess it does. Crazy as it is.

Don't I know it.

-l-

Brows touched. Hands linked.

-l-

Listen… Buttercup… I… I know that we… really fucked up. Or well _I_ did but… I… would… could we-?

…What?

Could we… maybe… try again?

-l-

 _SHRRRRRING!_

-l-

Both pups woke with a start and Butch grabbed his phone.

-l-

 _Sup Bro? Eh? What? What? Can't hear you over loud crying? Who's-._

-l-

I'm tired… Auntie…

Sorry sweetie it's probably your daddy with an update- go back to sleep.

Kay… is baby here yet?

I dunno maybe.

Baby?

You too Lily-kins go back to sleep.

…Kay.

-l-

 _Bro I really can't understand you- who the hell is yelling that doesn't like Bloss-…No… No fucking way!_

-l-

Butch! Language! Pups up!

-l-

 _I-I mean we can try- if you guys don't mind them staying up that late- no- not at all we'll be there soon- Bloss okay? – Oh uh- yeah sure- hold on._

-l-

He put his hand over the phone with an expression that was just… _awed._

-l-

What is it?

-l-

He shook his head. His smile growing.

-l-

See for yourself Butterfly- Your sis is on the phone. Hey Pups- get your shoes on! Babies are here and Momma and Daddy want you to meet them!

-l-

She lunged for the phone as the girls shrieked and jumped into action.

-l-

 _Sis? Sis you there?_

 _B-Buttercup… they're here… Buttercup… they're here… My… babies… I'm holding them right now. They look just like him… they look just like Brick… they're beautiful. My sons… they're h-h-here…"_

-l-

* * *

 _And now comes the finale..._


	6. Finale

" _ **Code X in Maternity Ward 6: Repeat this is a Code X. Please be advised."**_

-l-

" _WHAT THE HELL IS A CODE X!? - GOD DAAAAMN ITTTTTT!"_

-l-

The eye beams bounced off the specially constructed shield surrounding the hapless nurses but that little Indian doctor didn't even break a sweat: This is why Brick loved this hospital. Nothing fazed it. Same old- same old- routine always the same: Oh a monster had attacked? Kay. Oh some new super villain hadn't gotten the memo they were all supposed to have retired by now? No problem: Townsville General would fix those shattered teeth in no time.

Screaming, Yelling potentially homicidal laboring Powerpuff Girls… no...problem (?)

-l-

" _I hate youuuuuuuu- I hate you- and I love you- but so help me you're never coming near me again until you get the snip snip! Do you hear me- SNIP! SNIP!"_

-l-

A few of the younger nurses gasped and there were some little giggles too- likely nervous in origin- Brick wouldn't lie- the look in those hauntingly beautiful eyes while stunning as always… to an untrained eye _could_ be perceived as potentially threatening towards Brick's handsome facade. She'd never _act_ on any of the threats of course- but his wife was a lovely and very capable retired superheroine- the threat minute as it was. Was arguably still there.

His head was bandaged- he hadn't fallen _too_ hard so it really wasn't necessary- and well _fallen_ was too strong a word _anyway_ \- Brick had… merely slowly and capably crumbled to the floor. Yes. It had been a very _dignified…_ brief episode of unconsciousness.

It wouldn't be long now- the threats towards his life had decreased to three every ten minutes versus three ever _five_ \- her breathing was getting quicker- the grip on his hand was getting stronger- ow.- and the bed rail had had to be replaced twice: Rosie had gone through four. Lily three.

Almost there.

The _crack_ in his hand also made a few of these newbies flinch: but Dr. Pyndi was all business and no nonsense. Definitely would recommend this capable woman to Bubbles and Boom when the time came for their future bundles of joy: Definitely would be sending her a nice gift basket too.

She looked the fragrance soap type: or some gourmet food: Hmm… Brick was no good at that stuff- maybe Bubbles would have an idea? Maybe. Or he could ask his assistant? Aw fuck- wonder how the Jenkins case was doing… shit had that memo gone through or would Brick have to visit the office real quick next week: He hadn't heard back yet so….

 _Craaaaack_

Ah. Here we go! That was number three!

Her eyes were wide- he knelt by her side instantly and rubbed her brow before he switched to his non broken hand.

-l-

" _Ready?"_

-l-

A tearful nod. Dr. Pyndi and him exchanged a quick look before he got another nod and she peeked under. A huge broad smile and another nod.

-l-

" _One. Two- Three! One big push Mrs. Jojo! - and there we go! That's it! Breath- here's one little Jojp- annnnnnnnnd- oh your're an eager beaver aren't you?- Okay sweetheart no need to push- no not you Mrs. Jojo - keep going- we're almost there- One more big Push- annnnnd-!_

-l-

The cry was ear splitting- two in sync. One after the other- both of them were apparently eager to get out- his wife was sobbing just as loudly as their new little babies.

Twins… holy… holy shit.

And they were _loud_ \- dear God - listen to em'! Two healthy beautiful little-!

...Oh… oh no way.

Her eyes were wide. It couldn't be. Before her lips started to tremble and the sobbing abruptly started again- her arms went out instantly- _instantly_ \- she almost knocked _him_ over in her eagerness to hold their… their…

-l-

" _Come here babies… oh… oh Momma's got you… shh… shh… oh look at you… look at you you look just like… just like- Brick… Brick come look- they look just like!"_

-l-

One of them was already a clinger- clinging to Mommy in that kind of death grip only babies were capable of: Lily had latched onto his fingers and had refused to let go - ( err had that really changed? Not… really)

The other one though- had ceased crying and those scrunched up eyes opened up slowly- quietly- curiously ( he didn't care what the books said- none of them were clearly written by parents- his babies had been curious and brilliant from the very womb)

This little one… was no exception to that rule as far as Brick was concerned.

Those huge red eyes bore right into him: Examining him. Studying him. Trying to figure out the world around them.

-l-

" _He looks just like you… they both do."_

-l-

 **BOOM**

-l-

" _I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH AN INSULT TO BE BOURNE! EN GUARDE UTONIUM!"_

" _BRING IT ON CHIMP FACE!"_

" _JOHN!"_

" _MOJO!"_

 _-l-_

The other nurses all gaped. Dr. Pyndi sighed and nodded.

Just another typical…Puff Ruff birth is all.

-l-

 _Part V:_

 _In which a Butterfly and Snail go hand in hand once again_

-l-

It must have been a record- how fast they damn got to the hospital- her hand was in his as they clutched the pups and rushed on into the hospital- the nurses didn't even blink- just waved em' on through because with them carrying two pink eyed redheads- yeah pretty obvious who they were here for.

The carnage… in the waiting room too… whoo boy…

Mojo… Papa and John had gone at it again hadn't they… aw hell.

-l-

Grandpa!

Gran-PA!

-l-

Both of em' turned around – double hell. Butterfly over here rolled her eyes and waved at her… very confused father who promptly cried out along with her step momma and rushed at her.

He smiled. Mojo Papa even gave Butch an odd look but nonetheless also hustled over to give the long lost butterfly of Townsville a proper welcome home.

-l-

 _Ahhhh Buttercup daaaaaarling welcome home!_

-l-

And here was… Lobster Mama looking so fucking happy it was creepy. Like seriously- it was a…smug creepy- again… what had…Mama put in Blossom's…potatoes? Did… he want to know?

-l-

 _E-Excuse me?_

-l-

Oh God that nurse looked terrified. What the hell had the poor thing witnessed- looked barely out of school. Judging from the state of her scrubs- soaked from ice- and hair astray Butch was gonna guess…

She was one of the uh… survivors from the previous war zone.

-l-

 _A-Are you B-Buttercup? Your sister… she um… wants you to b-bring-."_

-l-

Ah. Right- okay pups time to see mommy and daddy- oh sweetie… you look a little pale- you okay? Everything go okay in there?

-l-

 _F-Fine… Ma'am… your um sister is looking very… healthy. Everything went well-"_

-l-

Or traumatized. That was a good word. Out of towner?

-l-

 _That was… definitely one of the um more…exciting births… I've ever seen…_

-l-

Butch was gonna go with a big YUP.

-l-

Hey Butterfly- better bring the pups in to see the newest members of the pack- and uh… sweetie maybe you should go take your coffee break?

-l-

 _Oh yes daaaaarling- you seem awfully pale- do sit down- we can't have anyone hurt on this MOST GLORIOUS OF DAYS! MY RED EYED BEAUTIFUL GRANDSONS ARE FINALLY HERE! Oh it was worth it- oh so worth it!_

 _Worth it… what was- FIEND! I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO NO GOOD WITH THE POTATOES AT THANKSGIVING YOU ARE USUALLY TOO LAZY TO AID WITH AND SO THUS I MOJO JOJO KNEW YOUR SUDDEN INTEREST IN THE HOLIDAY MEAL PREPARATIONS WAS THUS NO GOOD AND-!_

 _You- What did you do to my baby Him!_

 _Oh nothing baaaaaaaaaad John_

… _.Mojo…. new plan. An alliance of sorts?_

 _You read my mind Professor John Utonium – However I am still the favorite honorary grandfather figure and thus I shall hold my honorary grandson first._

 _No I'M the favorite-!_

 _John…. Mojo… we have two grandsons… Why not hold them at the same TIME?_

… _.. Your wife is very wise my friend and rival._

 _Isn't she though- now about these potatoes…_

-l-

Annnnnnd- that's their cue- Butch could have told Lobster Mama not to mess with the potatoes without realizing the consequences of fucking with the meal.

-l-

Uh oh. Lobster Nana's in trouble.

Rubble!

Wait… I ate those potatoes too! Does that mean I'm gonna have a baby too!?

-l-

Oh God. Good one Mama! Good one! The little pup was paler than a ghost. And now so was Lobster Mama- as all _three_ grandparents now advanced on Him.

-l-

 _Oh… Oh dear- Rosie darling no- no – babies come from… not potatoes they uh…_

 _What… did… you… DO Him!_

 _I wanted my grandson! They weren't cooperating soooooo-_

 _HIM!  
_

 _Oh lord… Rosie dear… why not ask your um… parents about um… uh…_

 _NO! My honorary granddaughter will not be traumatized by such adult matters! Rosie- your brothers came from the beak of the stork apparently LURED by your evil honorary grandmother figure crustacean!_

-l-

The stork? We don't have any storks in California? Do we? I dunno. Huh. So… my brothers didn't come from Mommy and Daddy um… putting the bow and hat on-?

-l-

John's face went scalding white- Mojo Papa gagged- Sandra flushed pink and Lobster Mama… just started laughing. Buttercup on her end just scooped the very confused little pink pup and signaled for him to just… take Lily.

-l-

 _HAT!? WHAT HAT!? BOW!? WHAT!? WHAAAAAAAAAAT – OH GOD WHAT HAS HE DONE TO MY BABY!?_

 _YOUR BABY IS IN HER THIRTIES JOHN- LET IT GO!_

-l-

The doors swung open and that traumatized nurse just waved em' on through- poor chick- the maternity ward didn't _seem_ too messed up- not like last time- fuck when that Puff had ever gone through a whole damn water cycle on them all- well there'd been some not so happy janitors running around with a mop.

Ah Townsville gotta love em' they knew what was up.

The pups had pack radar obviously- they just ended up following them to the small room and there was Wolf Daddy… having his hands wrapped up – ouch- and well lookie here.

-l-

MOMMY!

-l-

Wolf Momma was plum glowing- her sister just grinned from ear to ear then and walked over- leading the still groggy two year old by the hand- Rosie had already jumped on the bed - Butch on his end just sauntered over to his brother- bandaged up and everything.

-l-

 _That's it… no more. We're good. Four. Four's enough._

-l-

Sure is Bro. So… how are they?

-l-

 _The twins? Tch….perfect. Biggest red eyes you've ever seen and they've got momma's hair. We're good. We're done. God… I need coffee._

-l-

And an aspirin. And some pain killers probably- fuck man that's gotta hurt. Ah well- his brother was beaming- fucking _beaming_ as he watched the reunion of what'd the sap always call em' – oh yeah- his _flower garden_ – sap-

-l-

I missed you Mommy!

Miss!

-l-

 _I missed you too sweetheart were you good for your auntie and uncle?_

-l-

 _So… they were early like we figured so it'll be a few days before we can bring em' home… I'm not gonna be a jack ass and well I mean if you're busy I get it but if you wouldn't mind… I dunno just maybe checkin' in with the girls and Buttercup-._

-l-

Oh no worries Bro. That's no prob- _trust me_ -.

-l-

He flashed his ring and Brick's eyes widened-

-l-

 _No fucking way- you serious man?!_

 _-l-_

The shriek was instant. Butterfly's arm was seized and the wolf momma was looking frantically back and forth between her and… well him.

-l-

 _W-What!? Wait a minute- Wait just a- You… her… when-…. Oh my God… when Brick had to go bail him out that night and he was gone for hour-… oh my God…_

 _Yeeeeeah- guess I got some explaining to do huh-_

 _THAT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT! AND YOU- Why don't YOU seem at all surprised Mr. Jojo- HMM?_

-l-

Yuh oh. Hormones at work. Brick blanched and then cleared his throat.

-l-

 _Uhhhh well… um you see Cherry Blossom- uh love of my life- apple of my eye- the most beautiful of-._

 _Don't you DARE try to sweet talk me right now Mr. Jojo!_

 _Honey- Honey Butch-._

 _I told Butch not to say anything… so when Brick bailed him out after a… misunderstanding he just you know went along with it. My fault sis don't get mad- you'll mess with the hormones or something._

-l-

Say what now? Was she-?

The door opened then and an older woman came in beaming leadering another two slightly… more nervous looking younger nurses holding two squalling redheads in their arms. Blossom's eyes latched right onto them and she eagerly it seemed took one of them- Brick leaned over and took the other.

The pups gasped.

-l-

 _Rosie… Lily these are your new brothers- Adam and Craig. Why don't you say hello?_

-l-

Kinda…. Random names but the two of em' probably didn't have boy names picked out resigned as they were to having girls forever at that point- Butch remembered idly hearing one of those names somewhere but he couldn't really remember where but- meh not important.

-l-

H-Hi baby…

Baby?

-l-

 _Yes sweetie… baby- you were this tiny once._

 _Tinier actually._

-l-

Really? I was this small?

-l-

 _Oh God yeah Rosie- first time I held you I was terrified I was gonna drop ya- your Uncle Butch had to walk me through it._

 _You were petrified. I remember that._

 _Cause I knew if I dropped his pup Wolf Daddy over here would eat me alive._

 _Aw c'mon Buttercup I'm not that bad._

 _You…would have dear._

… _She's my baby- not my fault- Butch'll be the same way I guarantee it._

-l-

Uh… right here. Right here- let's uh not get too carried away now! He just… err… at least… he thought… he may have gotten her back but…could his brother not … scare her off… please?

Blossom thankfully got the memo- she leaned into the pillow, both babies snug in either arm- the girls watched with wide eyes- Butch had to admit… it was hell of a sight- there was something about a woman who just gave birth… here he was thinking his brother was just a lost cause but…

… yeah. He'd admit. The chick- his crazy sister in law… she sure… seemed pretty close to… _glowing_ to him.

Buttercup's smile only seemed to grow- and the sisters both grinned at each other.

-l-

 _Would you like to hold him Buttercup?_

-l-

She tensed and then laughed. Nervously.

-l-

 _And uh… piss off Grandpa one and A' out there… they're uh having a bit of a… discussion out there apparently over who gets to hold these tykes first sooooo-._

-l-

She trailed- apparently the question had been metaphorical- he folded his arms and snickered a bit – she flashed him a withering look.

The Wolf Mama only serenely passed the baby over to her inwardly shitting "bricks" younger sister- but her hands nonetheless wrapped the baby instantly- almost instinctively even. Who'da thunk.

-l-

 _I think in the circumstances… after everything Daddy and Mojo will understand- don't you think Brick?_

-l-

His brother grinned and took the other redhead- fuck these kids were identical how the fuck were they supposed to tell em' apart(!?) and Wolf Daddy over here nodded to his lovely mate.

-l-

 _I think they'll get it- c'mere bro- your turn._

-l-

W-Wait? Me? But uh Won't Lobster Mama have a-? Oh… Hi Bud… you… look disturbingly similar to my brother. That's.. kinda creepy.

-l-

 _Who is he supposed to look like… the milk man?_

-l-

The sisters gave each other a devious look and then laughed.

-l-

 _Oh that ain't even funny ladies._

 _Aw no worries Brick- its nature- the babies always look like the daddies you know- so they don't eat em' by accident_

-l-

What?! Daddy were you gonna eat us!?

 _-_ l-

 _Buttercup!_

 _Heh- just kidding kiddos- your mom's alpha of your pack anyway- wouldn't be Daddy's decision to make._

… _. Damn straight._

 _HEY!_

-l-

Two sets of wailing. Good Job Wolf Daddy. That look boded ill for he who had woken up the baby pups. Butch quickly handed wailing Brick clone # 1 while Butterfly did the same with Brick clone # 2 – fuck was he supposed to tell them apart now?

-l-

 _I think they're hungry… they have had a long first day- haven't you babies._

-l-

Both pink pups were scooped up by Wolf Daddy then. That was a sign as good as any- guess she was gonna continue this whole "old fashioned" way and shit- yep- Rosie Posie got plopped on his shoulders and Lily latched onto Buttercup's neck.

-l-

 _I…owe you two big time. Just… um… thanks._

 _What's family for Brick. We deal with crazy shit-take mushrooms that no one else will._

… _heh. True. Seems I'm once again however in your debt especially Miss Utonium._

-l-

Buttercup raised an eyebrow and fuck… he didn't know what that smile was but… Butch kinda liked it.

-l-

 _Tell you what… we're gonna drop the pups off with the grandparent brigade out there- and I'm going to go get some people food- when you and Bloss are done… with feeding time… you and me and Stud here are uh… gonna have to have a talk. We uh… have some legal issues and crap to sort through._

-l-

Legal?

-l-

Again with the smile. Brick seemed confused too but she didn't answer him- if anything she just tossed her head, plucked Rosie Posie off his shoulders and onto the ground- threw a salute in her sister's direction and sauntered out with both pink pups in tow.

Brick's grip on his shoulder was steady.

-l-

… _Thanks Bro._

-l-

No prob Brick. Congrats.

-l-

The pups were handed off to the grandparents without incident- and she grabbed his hand and pulled him along- outside the hospital and towards the nearest Dippin' Donuts.

-l-

What'd you… uh mean by legal anyway?

Hm? Whaddya mean?

Well… uh… you never… uh… I mean was that your answer-? Can we… try again? I mean I never signed the papers and-.

-l-

She laughed and he grinned- it'd been too long since he heard that laugh. Her eyes were shining as their heads touched.

-l-

You idiot… I… I never filed them.

…What?

I never filed the papers… I ripped em' up…

-l-

His breathing quickened.

-l-

You… you mean?

-l-

His Butterfly's smile was shaky- her eyes glistened and then she shrugged.

-l-

Yeah Mr. Jojo. Turns out… I ain't Miss _Utonium_ according to the good ole' government of Brazil. I'm still uh… Mrs. Um-. Jojo? Yeah… the uh… gotta love bureaucracy… it's uh… a beautiful… thing?

…. You bet your fucking ass it is but it ain't as beautiful as you Mrs. Jojo!

-l-

He swung her up and fuck if they looked like some kind of… stupid… stupid – aw fuck it who cared.

The only thing he gave a shit about… and ever had…

Fuck if… he didn't have it in his arms right now…

And fuck it… if he was ever letting her go again.

-l-

I… I have to go back to- just to pack everything up and-.

I know.

Butch what about-?

It can wait- fuck it can wait- all of it- and you'll be back soon enough- I can wait.

You don't want me to…?

Fuck no… like I said… you ain't you without your rocks… and fuck if I'm gonna be the one to take that away.

-l-

Lips trembling. Both of em' – all they needed was some lame eighties love song to play in the background- fuck if he cared.

-l-

Live for the moment Butterfly… we'll figure everything out… together…. Spread your wings and fly baby… I'll be here waitin'. I always do.

…It… It is a snail you know… a snail I got on my arm… I missed you… and I was… I was-.

Yeah… I know Butterfly… tell you a secret?

Yeah…?

-l-

Their fingers laced and she let him guide her own to his chest- her breath was sharp when her fingers trailed.

-l-

What's this?

Well… you always did say I needed some ink so… why not get some that mattered.

-l-

Her hand shook- and then trailed over the button of his shirt. She bit her lip.

-l-

You… you dumb… it's a fuckin' butterfly ain't it? We're so fuckin' original aren't we- and we give wolf mommy and daddy shit- we're _worse_.

Yeah… we are. And you know what else?

-l-

She latched onto him- coffee shop… right. Uh sure. They'd go and get some…coffee alright.

-l-

Yeah?

I fucking _hate_ coffee.

-l-

Her eyes glimmered.

-l-

So do I.

-l-

" _ **Alright you guys… the paperwork's all in order I think- mind you I'm reading this with an online translator – which by the by word to the wise- don't sign legal paperwork when you don't understand what you're reading Butch. Just saying- but anyway since there was no formalization of the intent of annulment – the two of you are considered to have been formally separated however you need to come sign more paperwork here- in America. Not at three in the morning. I've gotten you guys an appointment with the city clerk at NOON- in two weeks before you guys leave- Congrats guys- again- next time Butch- call me or at least Bubbles before you sign anymore legal documents outside of the United States- okay? Okay? – I'm taking my twenty minute nap now. See ya-."**_

" _ **DADDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYY! DAAADDDYYY LOOK MY REPORT CARD CAME! ALL A'S! CAN I GET MY KITTEN NOW!"**_

"… _ **. WHAT KITTEN!? BRICK!"**_

"… _ **. Make that….five."**_

 _ **-l-**_

 _ **Buttercup? It's Blossom- Were you aware my husband promised our five year old a kitten for getting perfect grades? Hmm? Were you? Because I certainly wasn't. Anyway- you're the expert with animals because she's gotten it in her head she wants a jaguar- I can't "possibly" imagine who put this idea in her head so could you please come with us to the shelter? If I must have a feline in my home it would be nice to have one with a… less evil temperament. Hm? Oh- the boys are awake so I've gotta go- see you soon sis!**_

 _ **-l-**_

 _ **BUTTERCUP UTON- JOJO! PICK UP YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW MISSY! RIGHT. NOW. SINCE WHEN ARE YOU MARRIED!? WHAT THE HECK IS THIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS CHANGE ON FACEPLACE WITH BUTCH! AND DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT FACEPLACE IS AGAIN MISSY! CALL ME!**_

 _ **Also we're doing a volcano unit at the school next month and you're supposed to be back then right?- would you be willing to come have a talk with the kiddies? Please and thank you! Also- um hello- we need to totally throw a party now obviously! Like a long awaited reception or something! Don't worry I'll take care of everything! Call me!**_

 **-l-**

 _ **Buuuuutch- darling- I do hope you and Miss Buttercup will be joining us for a faaaaabulous July Fourth Barbecue! Oh by the way- how DOES your little wife like potato salad? I really muuuuust insist she tries it- it's simply to DIE for!**_

 _ **Kisses my babies!**_

 _ **-l-**_

… _Ugh… Butch… Butch wake up._

… _Wha-? What's up Butterfly?_

… _I don't feel too hot…_

 _Whaddya mean? You're always hot..?_

 _No… but really I don't- HRRRRRRRRRRRRGH_

… _.. FUCK! You okay!?_

… _. I dunno- what the fuck was in that salad!?_

… _You ate Mama's salad…?_

… _. Yeah why…_

… _.No reason._

-l-

 _Fin._

* * *

 _Oh... My God. Wow. Just... holy- what a ride this has been but - that's it guys: My third multi-chaptered fanfiction is complete. Wow. Done. Just... holy mackerel- it sounds corny to say but... sometimes when you've been kind of lost in a slump and you think you've lost it forever... to have something reawaken that passion... a fandom to completely revitalize you as a writer... it's just... surreal._

 _The friends I've made in this fandom- the joy I get in reading all y'all's reviews and comments, and the favs and the follows and knowing I'm making you guys happy reading my work ( Well...for the most part- I know I earn my nickname "Dark Lord" in many cases *cough CAGED cough* ) but regardless I know it was a wait and a pretty long wait too but I finished it. I finished "The Thing" and I have thus kept my promise to myself once again that I will never leave another multi-chaptered story unfinished and leave any readers on a cliffhanger...ever again._

 _And I hope you all enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it._

 _A HUGE HUGE thank you to Mrs. Rosegold for all her encouragement and help with this piece- couldn't have done it without you darling! And as a note- if anyone is curious about the continuing life of The Snail and his Butterfly here- don't worry- she's got you covered- check out her fabulous work:_ **The Perks of being a House Husband -** _Which is at least in my opinion basically a perfect telling of what would happen next in this crazy wolf pack's world- bar none._

 _And now- the big news: Speaking of long term projects- as promised to all my amazing readers and followers and hey anyone else slightly curious about my newest project I am proud to announce- upon completion of **The Thing** \- as promised my next project is drum roll pleaseeeeee- ... *crickets* - Okay... fine that works too- but... _

_I AM VERY EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE:_

 **Powerpuff Girls Z: Paths of Ligh** **t**

 **Coming this summer of 2017 - Paths of Light will be a retelling and reboot I suppose one could argue of the anime adaptation of the show we all know and love but done a little... differently ;)**

 **And that my lovelies, I'm afraid is the only information I can give now: Stay tuned for more updates my lovelies- and thank you all for your support on The Thing and all my other works too- I can't thank you all enough.**

 **Best of luck on all your writing adventures my lovelies,**

 **-Carrie**


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